Ok, so I've been thinking about this for a couple days and can't really say it anywhere out loud, so I'm going to say it here...since I'm open like that. Not that anyone cares but me. And maybe Corey.
The other day I was randomly thinking about how my IUD is safe until January 2010, which is good since I have the baby fever and we're not in an ideal financial situation with my still being in grad school. Then it occurred to me that that is less than 2 years (1 year, 9 months to be specific) until it *has* to come out.
The way time is moving lately, that isn't very far away.
My 5 years are about up.
They were some glorious years, too.
This means two important things (in no particular order):
1) I'm going to bleed again. After so many years of NOT bleeding, the idea has become a very foreign concept to me. In a freakish sort of way it's like I'm reliving a part of being 11 years old again. The bears can smell the menstruation.
2) We're going to have a decision to make about birth control - as in whether or not I should go on it. I'm going to be done with grad school (if I survive with my sanity intact), have a grown up income of my very own (SQUEEEEE!!1!!!!1!), and have almost all everything but student loans paid off at that point.
This is a big deal. Yeah, we've had all the thoughts and fevers etc about starting a family...but they were just thoughts and fevers. Not quite reality since IUD's aren't as simple a pill or shot you stop taking - you have to get those bastards removed on purpose. With an appointment. With a doctor.
Are we going to be attempting to create another human being in a year and 9 months?
Or is that going to be when we are getting some kind of bad news saying that my machinery is broken and that the reason I never got pregnant at a younger age like every one else in my family was, in fact, not because I was so sexually responsible (if you can call it that) and smart throughout my life.
Exciting. And scary. And awesome. But potentially depressing.
3 comments:
Well, okay now–I’m somewhat overwhelmed to catch up with a month’s comments on Life in Jessieland. Never having dealt with an IUD and 5 years’ freedom from bleeding (until menopause set in, which was just fine with me), it’s hard to identify with your dilemma. However, I’m sure you and Corey will decide what to do/when/all that.
Then there’s the whole wedding registration business–could you just ask people for financial contributions? We know of other folks who have done that–then you get to decide what you do with the booty.
I’m really sorry that the Master’s program is so unsatisfying–really wish that you were having a more positive learning experience.
Then there’s the snow . . . I check your weather almost every day and confess to being happy I don’t live there. We’ve whined out here about our extended cold days, but there is no comparison to yours. Summer struck last Saturday, as we traveled to Hood River to a barrel tasting of wine. Beautiful blue sky, warm temperatures, blossoms exploding. There was almost nonstop traffic to the beach as we drove inland. Yesterday, of course, reality kicked in and it’s now cool and rainy/haily/gray again. Grandpa had a cruise tour group and took them to Cannon Beach and Seaside for whatever they wanted to do each place. He recommends Doogers to them, and several folks take him up on it and are happy with their lunches.
We had lunch in Sherwood Sunday with Lisa, Brody, Cully, and Lisa’s friend Steve–who bought us lunch–wow! He’s a nice man and seems very thoughtful and kind.
We enjoyed a good, way too short, Easter weekend with your family in San Marcos. Alexis has turned into a gorgeous teenager–I could hardly stop staring at her!
Don’t know much else right now–we’re chugging along here and doing fine. We send love and hugs to you both. GMM and GPL
Good luck with everything!!! What a fantastic (yet scary) time in life!!!!
No doubt babies are adorable and it’s an amazing experience, BUT, it changes your life irreversibly..I knew it would and I was prepared, yet it took its time to sink in that you just cannot do what you want, at least for a while, and are always always bound, that even going for a bath can be a trying experience!
That said, it’s another phase in life - just make sure you watch all the movies you want now, coz you won’t be able to do the spur of the moment let’s-catch-a-movie thing. For that matter, you won’t be able to do spur of the moment anything!
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