Worst. Elfster. EVER.

So Christmas was what...TWO MONTHS AGO?

I feel terrible. It took me forever to even come up with something to give as my gift - which really shocked me. Why? Well...let's start with the fact that I drew the person I was really hoping I would - my friend Karen. See what happens when you get what you want? Your mind draws a blank, I guess. Or maybe because I got her, my expectations for myself were super high. I don't know. Besides, how brilliant can one really expect to be on a $15 limit?

Once I finally came up with something, it took me forever to get it going. Then I took the pictures that I wanted to take for my little project, and decided they sucked when it came time to have them printed. So instead I came up with this:



Karen has this old house with this bathroom that is going to be her little sanctuary. She's worked really hard to (and waited a LONG TIME) to complete that room for herself. At the last minute, I decided these pictures from a trip we took to Florida for Vanessa's baby shower would be a lot more suitable for her little sanctuary - particularly because she loves Florida and warm weather...but lives in Michigan.

Obviously I'm not posting this until after she gets it - but I really hope she likes it!

(PS: Karen, I made sure to use photo-corners to get the pictures in there in case you hate it and want to put other ones in!)

39/365. Sock Monkeys!

This came in the mail today! My I blurred out some names/locations to protect the innocent :)
(click the picture to enlarge)

This is a souvenier invite that was made for me to put in Sophie's baby book for the shower thrown for me by the group of girls I met starting in 2006 that were all getting married in August 2008 (remember I was too, but we ended up switching to July).  The "hoarmaster" ticket was a funny little thing sent to all the people who are coming to let them know of a gathering separate from the shower just to hang out.  Both are fantastic!

Anyway, all but one of the attendees is coming from outside of Milwaukee on February 20th.  Actually - I will list where they are all coming from...

• Katy, TX
• Minneapolis, MN
• Washington DC (2 from here)
• Seattle, WA (2 from here)
• Quincy, MA
• Jackson, MI
• Costa Mesa, CA
• Syracuse, NY
• Greenwood, IN
• Boulder, CO
• Little Rock, AR
• Milwaukee, WI
• Venice, FL
• South Boston, MA
• Council Bluffs, IA

I hope I didn't miss anyone!  A lot of us have already met in person quite a few times, and the rest...well...we all talk to each other online almost all day every day.

So now let me try to give a quick rundown of why "hoar" is a term of endearment for us...
On the wedding planning site we all met and became friends, our particular message board was pretty known for its honesty, snark, and sense of humor.  So when some bride came and posted basically wanting us to gush and tell her how gorgeous her disney princess (or something equally disturbing) wedding decorations and plans were and we didn't...she basically went down in a crybaby blaze of glory and told us all we were a bunch of "hoars" and she "feels sorry for our husbands" and blah blah blah blah. 

Obviously we found this HILARIOUS.

Even better, she wasn't the last one to call us that - same spelling and all.  It stuck.  We're hoars.

22/365. Christmas in the Batcave.

I have an awesome group of friends...two awesome groups of friends...that I met on the internet.

Yes. You heard me. Actually...you probably aren't shocked since if you are reading this, there is about a 95% chance you are one of them.

Anyway. I digress. One of these groups is comprised of women from southeast Wisconsin that I see on a pretty regular basis and often forget that I met them online. The other is comprised of women from all over the country that were all married in August of 2008 (which is when we were originally getting married before we had to switch it to the end of July). For this second group, we have a private message board that we all post/chat/otherwise congregate on that we have affectionately refer to as The Batcave.

Many of us have met in person, and we've been talking (in person, online, on the phone, etc) for about 3 years now.  We even send Christmas cards.  And by "we send Christmas cards" I mean "I don't because I suck but a lot of the girls do and I squeal in delight each time one comes in the mail."

This year one of my friends from this group, Chrissie, made little ornaments for us all with the bat symbol...except I think 75% of us received a card with a giant hole in the corner and no ornament to be found.  But she made them ALL over again and sent them out!  I got mine in the mail today.  Christmas is over, but I think I will hang it year round anyway because seriously...it's pretty awesome.  As you can see by the paw, Zoey wanted it for herself.

Florida!

Oh hai!

So it's been awhile. I've been busy with...well...everything. I won't get into all that now. For the most part it's the same old song and dance - except for some things with my mom. I'll talk about that sometime when there is a little more to know.

In the mean time...I went to Florida! I wish I had written this post sooner - I would have felt more motivated to include more details. I needed a break, and a long weekend in Venice, Florida for a friend's baby shower was the perfect opportunity. There were 12 of us down there all together - all Freaky Internet Friends. Yes, I flew somewhere and met weirdos from the internet.

This was a group of people that I have talked to (online, on the phone, and some in person) for over 2 years now. We've grown incredibly close and I think that many of us know more about each other than we know about some of our closest friends (and that our closest friends know about us). That's nothing against our original friends - it's just more of an open forum of randomness and it all gets put out there...on a private message board of course.

Anyway, it was great to meet these women and to have so many of us in one place all weekend long and to celebrate with Vanessa at her baby shower. We spent a lot of time at the beach (and at Target), and the shower was a blast. I might have overindulged a bit at the shower - but in my defense, it wasn't your typical baby shower. There was men and alcohol and horseshoes! Not that I care about the men and the horseshoes, but booze is a change from your typical baby shower.

But what, you ask, could inspire me to overindulge at a baby shower? Well...I was on track for a night full of fun with the girls and a steady beer buzz...until V's aunt asked me when MY baby was due.

Umm...

Yeah.

Not pregnant.

At least not that I know of.

I always wondered how I would respond to that question if asked, since it is no secret that I've put on some weight. I, like both of my parents, tend to carry my extra weight in my belly. Regardless, I thought for sure my answer to this very rude and assuming question would be "I'm not pregnant, I'm just fat." but I couldn't muster that. First I stood there in disbelief...then I squeaked out something along the lines of "...I'm....not........uhhh...........pregnant." She was caught off guard. After a long pause, she stammered out something like "Oh...well...with the shirts girls wear these days it's hard to tell."

Yeah, right lady.

Luckily I recover quickly and have a sense of humor. Not to toot my own horn, but not everyone would have handled it as well I don't think.

But boy was I thirsty after that. For beer. More beer.

Although in hindsight, I was standing there blatantly drinking a beer while she asked me that. So...not only did she think I was pregnant, she obviously thought I looked classy enough to be the kind of showing-pregnant chick to stand there and drink Budweiser from the can. Fantastic.

Anyway...I had something else I was going to talk about, but telling that story again has distracted me to the point of no return I think. So instead, here are some pictures. We spent a lot of time at the beach, so obviously I played with my camera a lot. Apparently I have the ability to summon dolphins and the uncanny ability to get a certain camera shy German shepherd to be my supermodel.

If you click on the collage, it will open up larger in a new window. You can also get a glimpse of my version the shirts I made for everyone in honor of "Hoarstock '09". If I remember correctly, and you're curious, "Hoar" is a reference to an inside joke about some spoiled crazy girl on the wedding site who didn't like an answer someone (or several someones...one of them might have been me) gave when she asked advice about some family drama that she created because people weren't all excited for HER special day.

Obviously, when you don't like an answer or answers someone gives you, you call them a bunch of "hoars". It has been a group nickname ever since.

Stock the Bar Shower

On May 4th my friends here (formerly known as iFriends) in Milwaukee threw a Stock the Bar Shower for my friend Tara and I. Tara is getting married in New Orleans a week before us.

For those of you who were wondering, Stock the Bar = Best. Bridal shower idea. Ever.

Instead of usual shower gifts from the registry, people bring booze and their favorite drink recipe to go alone with it. The awesomeness can be summed up with one glorious photo:



Isn't it beautiful?

There was an amazing spread of delicious food and OHMYGOD A VODKA LEMONADE BAR! They also had really cute cookies made for us by the happy cookie lady:



I'm craving one of these cookies right now, actually. I'm hoping to get them made for our wedding, but we'll see. I guess I should get on that soon.

Here I am modeling my cookie...



Here is a picture of my co-showeree (is that even a word?) with the newest adorable baby in our group:



Thanks again to the awesome hostesses and to everyone who came!

The delayed monthie beerfest recap

Ok. so I never blogged about meeting some crazy monthies last weekend, and I'm currently on a quest to be in bed by 9:30 (lame, I know). What I'm about to write will not accurately portray how fun that night was, but if I don't write it now - before grad school sucks me in to the thesis/non-thesis abyss - it will never happen.

Definition of Crazy Monthie (for the non-knot folks): Girls from the message boards that are based on the month of a wedding. So no matter what month/year a person is getting married, there is a place where other brides getting married that same month/date can be found. Those message boards tend to be overrun by crazy, bridezilla-ish, sunshine, rainbows, and smoke-up-your-ass girls. And they are crazy.

The one I happened to be on is the OPPOSITE of that. One of the girls I met on there happens to be from Milwaukee, and another is from DC but happened to be in town last weekend. She was with her friend and her step-sister in law who also joined us. We met at the Lakefront Brewery, ate at the fish fry (Lent is a busy time for friday fish frys), did the brewery tour, went to the Irish pub at County Clare (where we were never empty handed and didn't pay a dime, thanks to sweet old drunk Irish men), and then somehow found our way to Pizza Shuttle.

It was like we were old friends that hadn't seen each other in ages and we had a fantastic time! I'll summarize with pictures:

The first picture at the beginning of the tour, still sober, random guy wants to be in the picture...



Our awesome beer-guide Bob, telling the story of Larry, Moe, and Curly (a story I don't remember)...



Posing with my (nick)name sake...



Kelly, performing her duties as Bung Queen (something about some wood and a hole) which includes pushing "play" for the Laverne & Shirley song...



...which we sang.



Posing at the end of the tour with Bob and a good buzz.



Getting drunk at the County Clare with old Irish guys! He was the best!



Dancing...maybe...



Funniest expression ever...



At some point shots were introduced between beers...



My shoes were not made for all of that walking around and at some point I had taken them off. But now it was time to get pizza. I'm clearly not too sophisticated to sit on the floor of a bar and put my shoes on.



So who is ready to come visit me and repeat this tour de Milwaukee?

Good. Hurry up.

Today in a nutshell (complete with bullet points)

• My new (but the same), larger wedding dress came today.


• It fits just as bad as the old one did because I've gained 10 pounds since I started taking Trazodone.


• I feel disgusting. I've been 20 lbs heavier than I am right now and I feel worse than I did then.


• I have no motivation to work out when I actually have the time to work out. When I'm busy, I itch to work out. Like "ohmygodI'minthemiddleof10thingsrightnowbutandhourontheellipticalwouldfuckingrock."


• Did you catch that?


• I'm up to 6 people that cannot make it to our wedding.


• 3 of those I expected.


• 3 are disappointing, but I understand. Like my grandparents. And my matron of honor, who is still in the army.


• Our new save-the-date cards came today. They look good.


• Except now I have to address them.


• I have approximately 15,974,277 wedding things left to do.


• It feels that way, anyway.


• Tomorrow I have to help train a new person at the clinic who is technically a little higher on the food chain than I am there (I'm just an admin clerk there).


• Awkward.


• I think that is all I have the patience to get into right now.

Hopefully tomorrow is a better day. I only work at the clinic until around 12 or 1, and then I'm meeting 2 iFriends for the first time and going to a fish fry and brewery tour at some point tomorrow night.

Unfortunately, I have a long and annoying day of work on Saturday. Then on Sunday we'll be heading to Madison to celebrate Corey's older brother's birthday and his younger brother's girlfriend's birthday (say that 3 times fast). I also have some homework to accomplish at some point by Sunday at midnight. Oy.

$5 says that somewhere in all that I'll have the urge to work out and won't be able to.

[By the way...the people who were formerly known as iFriends have been real friends for quite some time now. They have played an amazing part in my sanity since moving here and in many ways have been a solid rock that I know I can trust and could count on for anything - laughs, support, a shoulder to cry on, honest opinions - anything.]

More fun with iFriends

So as most of you know, I'm still pretty new to Wisconsin. When I came here I thought I'd be able to meet some new people and make some new friends through school and/or work. Well...I work in a high school and take my grad school classes online so I won't be meeting anyone that way. Luckily, thanks to theknot.com and blogs and facebook I've gotten to know so many great ladies in this area. I used to be very paranoid about meeting people from the internet and swore it was something that I'd never be able to do. Obviously I've changed my mind about that, and I'm glad I did! Kind of like Krista said, I'm glad to get to know these ladies from the internet in person and know for sure that they aren't some scary pedophiles or rapists disguising themselves as friendly, normal women.

Last night I had the pleasure of another gathering of the iFriends. We met at California Pizza Kitchen for dinner (I ate WAY too much, and Krista, Sara and I couldn't resist the dessert) and then headed over to Bar Louie for drinks. It was great to see everyone again, and to meet a few more that I hadn't met in person before. I forgot my camera at Corey's mom's house last weekend, so here are a few pictures that other people took last night.







Don't mind the funny cheerleader poses in the front row :)

I <3 books, wine, and iFriends

Last night was a great night. I went to a book club meeting and met a bunch of my iFriends (from blogs, the knot, and facebook). I hadn't read the book, so I didn't have much to contribute for that part, but we did pick out a book for next month and talk about a few others that I'm really interested in reading now, so that was cool. Most of the time was spent chatting and sampling the snacks and wine that everyone brought. It was great to meet a few new people, and to see some that I met at Race for the Cure again. I'm looking forward to next month!

We forgot about the cameras until most of the people had left, but here are a few pictures, sorry they look the same but with different people. :)

They are also in crappy color because I forgot to change a setting on my camera back to normal. Oh, and I'm shiny.

Race for the cure - after

Ok. So briefly wondering if I was going to keel over and die while walking a 5k was silly.

We couldn't have asked for better weather today. It was sunny, breezy, not hot, but not too cool. I had a good time and it was great to meet the knotties (aka FIFs) on the team who were able to make it (Sara, Emily, Sara, Ang, Rheanna, Shiela, Patty, Jessica, Natasha, and Krystal). Afterwards we went to Barclay's Cafe for brunch (and mimosas) and holy crap it was good!

I think the sore throat and stuffy nose I started feeling last night is actually turning in to something, so I'm going to post some pictures and take a nap.

I feel the need to mention that while walking past a group of people during the walk, I actually heard a man use the term "Big Girl Panties." It was fantastic, and I couldn't share it with anyone at the time it happened because they were so close to us.



Before the race at Ang's house



Waiting for it to start



Just a fraction of the people participating in the walk



Group pic at the turnaround point - taken by a man in a hot pink wig :)

Race for the Cure

Holy crap. It’s tomorrow.

I worked at my first-ever cross country meet today. After seeing the dazed and confused look on those kids faces after crossing the finish line, along with the staggering and throwing up. It made me a litte scurred for tomorrow. Yes, I’m walking a 5k, not running but still. These are healthy 15-18 year old kids who run every single day and they looked like they were on the brink of death. I’m almost twice the age of some of them, and I never run. Or walk. I might die tomorrow.

No, I won’t. I’m walking with a whole bunch of FIF’s and there is brunch after Mmmmm. Fooooood.

I met a FIF. IRL!

FIF: Freaky Internet Friend

IRL: In real life

Last night I met my first FIF. I've always been really hesitant about people meeting people from the internet in real life because it's always seemed really weird/scary to me, even though it is so common now. Then I moved across the country.

I was really excited for grad school to start (boy did that change fast) because I thought I'd meet some people that way, or through my GA position. Then came the reality: My classes are online, and I work with high school kids. No and absofreakinglutely not.

So back to now...

Last week Brooke, who I know from theknot.com's Milwaukee message boards, wrote me an email inviting me to a concert since her fiance couldn't go and we are both new to Milwaukee and need to meet some people. I didn't even hesitate - yay for getting out of the house and meeting a real live person! She always seemed quite normal and not in the least bit like a creepy internet weirdo. Boy was I wrong! No no no, I'm just kidding.

Anyway, she picked me up at my house and we drove downtown and decided to eat at Rock Bottom on the river. We ate out on the patio because the weather was perfect and the food was absolutely delicious. Then we headed back across the street to the Pabst Theater to see the band Okkervil River who I had never heard of until Brooke invited me to see them. Okkervil River was great! I love all kinds of music and things with a more unique sound. I think myspace lists them as "indie rock" (I don't really know what that means, but who cares, I liked 'em). This is going to sound weird but they kind of reminded me of a cross between The Killers and Counting Crows.



A funny highlight of the evening: We were sitting at the end of a row in the back and it was very dark in there. I got up to go use the bathroom and apparently there was a step there at the end of our row. Yep, I fell (almost) on my face on my very first FIF "date". No real harm done but a minor ankle sprain (and temporary loss of some dignity), but that step is a lawsuit waiting to happen. Brooke (who just passed the bar exam) was ready to be my lawyer, and I could do my own rehab. It was meant to be. Needless to say I won't be suing the Pabst for their lack of lighting...it's just fun to think of ways to use the things we each just spent our gazillion years of school learning to do.

Oh...and then I almost fell again at the end of another row. It was even light in there and I was warned about it before I did it again. I caught myself this time...mostly. There are reasons I shouldn't be allowed in public.

Anyway, long story short: good company + good band + beautiful smaller venue = damn good time.

Also, I hope whoever cleans that theater is very happy with the $15 of mine they found somewhere on the floor.

Who ARE you people?

I just noticed that my sitemeter is up to 961…huh?!? I’m not that interesting - but you must know that by now.

Family? Friends? Stalkers? Bored people?

Who is from Parsippany, NJ? I know I’m not the first person in the blogs linked on my page to wonder that, either. So really…who are you? I’m curious! You’re a pretty regular visitor.

Herndon, Virginia? Chicago?

What about all of you from these random Wisconsin cities? I only know about 10 people in this state. I know a few of you are knotties with blogs, but what about the rest of you? I know there are a few knotties who don’t particularly like me who are probably reading too…I think you should say “Hi, GFY” or something…anything. C’mon, it’ll be fun - my grandparents and aunt who read this regularly might even be a little intrigued.

Anyway, if you’re reading this…Hi, I’m Jessie…who are you?

Knotties for the Cure

I just checked our Race for the Cure team page and we are doing pretty damn good. At least 15 members and just under $1000 raised and we still have over a month to go! I wish I knew who some of the people on the team were - there are a few names I don’t recognize. Not that it matters, but if anyone wants to clue me in on who is who of the non-obvious ones that would be great. Thanks!