Apparently I graduated...

...and forgot to tell you all about it.

Well, I started to.  I just never hit "publish" on the blog post and didn't realize it.  Whoops!  So here is my do-over.

On May 16th I was awarded an MS in Rehabilitation Science from the school whose logo is pictured below.  I'm not naming it because I want to brag about my accomplishments while attempting to lessen the chances of someone I know from school that I've talked crap about from stumbling upon this blog.

Man am I glad that is over.  For whatever reason, you don't graduate with honors at this particular school.  If they did factor it in though, I guess my 3.81 would have gotten me a cute little "magna cum laude" after my name in the program.  Oh well.  C'est la vie.

Anyway.  After the graduation ceremony we headed back to our house where we held a small bbq to celebrate.  Corey's brother Matt also graduated with his MA in English from UW Milwaukee that day so the party was for both of us.  Unfortunately he was sick, but that didn't stop him from playing flippy-cup later in the night.

Brecken, my best friend from the army, came to town for the weekend too.  I hadn't seen her since she flew to California for my LAST graduation, so it was awesome to spend time with her.  Over the last 7 years we've gradually started moving closer and closer together.  Right now she lives in Iowa, but eventually she'll live in Wisconsin.  For now I'm happy that our states at least share a border!

Anyway, here are some pics from the day (and well into the night).  Yes, we busted out the cornhole, learned the magical joys of flippy-cup, and then came SingStar...

Almost there.

It's a little after 11pm on May 5th, 2009.

I'm tired.
I can't unclench my jaw. 
I'm stressed.

Yet...

I'm feeling pretty good.

I just hit the send button (for the last time this time...I think) on an email to my advisor with the final copy of our thesis (a systematic review and meta-analysis I worked on with 2 other people) attached.

In 12 hours we'll be presenting our oral defense.

And then I'll be done.

THANK GOD.

I will have a few random things to touch up for my other elective class, but nothing time consuming or stressful.

Graduation is May 16th.  I wasn't going to participate in the ceremony unless my dad was coming from Oregon to watch it.  He said he was, so I bought the cap, gown, and hood and paid the fees...and now he can't make it.  At first I felt sort of "stuck" participating in the ceremony, but now I'm content to go through it all because...well...I just finished GRAD SCHOOL.  It's sort of a big deal.

Not bad for a girl who never planned on going farther than an associates (in something - anything)...which is coincidentally the one I skipped right over.

Now...

$10 says my next job is something that only required a high school diploma.

Oh, hey!

I'm still alive, just busier than hell and laptopless.

Heheheh.  I said "topless".

And I'm easily amused.

Anyway, that thing I call Hell (grad school) started back up.  In just over 3 months I will be done, but there is a LOT of stuff to finish up in those last 3 months, so my posts may be scarce on top of the other reasons.  I also started working at the PT clinic again last week so I'm working another 15 hours or so a week on top of my normal 30-ish at my regular job.  My classes are largely in-person instead of online this semester so that tacks a bunch more time onto my disappearing act. 

So not only is there all of that, I have also been sans laptop for a little over a week and likely have another week to go.  My internal wireless card crapped out, not to mention some abnormal wear on my mouse pad thing that I'd been putting off asking about.   Anyway, my laptop had a 2 year warranty with a little time left on it so if I wanted it fixed for free, I had to part with it for 10-14 days.  The timing sucks with school, but at the same time, I have been phenomenal at keeping up with my school work while it has been gone.  Those interwebz sure are distracting.

I'm looking forward to this weekend.  We are heading to Madison to hang out with the in-laws and Corey is going to go ice-fishing with some work friends.  I will be getting my hair cut and colored by my friend Barbie.  I'm craving a change. 

So yeah, that is about all I have to talk about that isn't a time consuming or picture-heavy post.  Hope you're all doing well.

4th and 1

Sorry for the not-so-clever football reference. 

I'm talking about 4 semesters down, 1 to go!  I finished my final assignment last night and can forget about school for a solid 6 or so weeks.  I'm one 6 credit semester away from my masters degree and can. not. wait.  As much as I'd like to say that I will be able to forget about school forever, I can't shake the feeling that I may end up back there somehow to learn a new trade that fits in a little better with the family-friendly work schedule I would like to have.  But, then again...if I go back to school that would probably mean we'd have to put off the family thing even longer.  So we'll see I guess.

There I go jumping back on the Debbie Downer train again.  I can't seem to stop doing that. No matter how many things I am happy or excited about, I manage find twice as many things to bring me down.  I don't know what my problem is.

Tonight we are going to Corey's company Christmas party.  We had a lot of fun last year and are doing the same thing this time.  It was a dinner/booze cruise on Lake Michigan and the Milwaukee River.  The food was good and the view was amazing.  I'm hoping that the boat will make fewer attempts to break through the frozen over parts of the water.  I'm not in the mood for any Titanic moments.  After the dinner cruise last year we ended up bar hopping on Water Street, but the people we were with live closer to Madison and still had to drive home.  This year we live closer to downtown and have invited people to stay over if they need to.  Anyway, I'm off to clean the house a little more just in case. 

Bitching with bullet points

• I REALLY wanted...I'll even say NEEDED a snow day today.  It was looking so promising.  WTF?
• I've had my final "exam" open to me for 2.5 weeks now and I haven't done it.  Hence the NEED for a snow day.
• Last wednesday was supposed to be the last time my systematic review group was meeting for the semester.  Now we are "voluntarily" meeting tomorrow.  WHY?  Can we please cancel this? 
• Old Navy performance fleece stuff is only like $8 right now and I want about 10 of everything.  This is not financially possible.
• I still haven't started the laundry that I planned on doing Sunday.
• The laundry I did 2 weekends ago is still sitting here on the couch.  Folded.
• I am lazy.
• I need another cup of coffee.
• I just wanted to bitch and moan with bullet points.
• kthxbai.

1/3 of the way there - or is it 3.5/5 (70%)?

Until I'm done with grad school.

It's 1/3 of the way there because for our non-thesis (systematic review) project, there are 3 milestones - one of those is complete as of today. We had to present our research question, proposal, timeline, and background information on systematic reviews and meta-analysis to a physical therapy clinic that we are bringing up to speed on evidence-based practice.

It's 3.5/5 (70%) because my masters program is set up to take 5 semesters and I only have 1.5 to go.

Thank God. It is a Lutheran university, after all.

I'd say lets not get lost in numbers or statistics, but between a whole lotta statistics and eleventy thousand research papers is where you will find me from now until May.

...although...

That would imply that I actually study and do things like I am supposed to. No...I wait until the last minute. That first milestone (the presentation today)? Yeah - I put that together from around eleven to midnight last night. What? That's not how people serious about grad school do things? Shit.

I wrote out enough to be thorough and for my part to only take about 10 minutes. After about 12 minutes, I had to start summarizing because I clearly underestimated my ability to discuss something as boring as systematic reviews and meta-analyses.

Anyway, it's over and it went very well. I'd like to thank that big-gulp sized vanilla latte with an extra shot of crack that I chugged on my way to the clinic. Feeling like you're going to have a heart attack is distracting when you're about to do something a little nerve-wracking. Try it! You'll like it!

I am dumb. Or blind. Take your pick.

I have to give my number to a lot of kids and their parents in my line of work. I felt a little silly (not to mention unprofessional) writing it on whatever random piece of paper one of us could scrounge up, so I asked my boss to send me the picture of our company logo so I could order some business cards for free through Vistaprint. He told me no, don't worry about it, he'd order some for me and pay for it. Ok, sweet.

So I stop in there one day (I don't work in the office) and he shows me the proof of them and has me double check all the spellings, credentials, etc. We fixed a few things (added my soon-to-be last name) and it looked good to go. Ok. Sweet.

They came in yesterday and I picked them up, felt all excited and professional about them (you don't typically have business cards in the army) and brought them home. I had them in my purse and pulled one out to show my friend today...

What is the first thing she says?

"That's not how you spell your first name is it?"

SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT.

Yes, folks. I looked at my business cards several times before they were ordered and after they came AND DIDN'T NOTICE MY OWN NAME SPELLED WRONG.

WTF? What the hell else was I looking at when I was checking them over?

I wonder if this has anything to do with the 55 (yes...fifty-five) stupid life/wedding/grad school/parking ticket related things on my to-do list.

Is it August yet?

One month from today

...we are getting married. Finally! It only took 8 years or so.

I have so much crap to do still.

And school starts again next week.

I'm screwed.

Oy vey.

I'm sorry for the extended absence. School is kicking my ass, and I don't think I get anything less than a 6 day work week until the very last weekend of May. I have several long papers due in the next 3 weeks on top of the regular easy but ridiculously time consuming school work. I wrote a 16 pager over the weekend, and finished up a presentation on the health care practices and beliefs of Hasidic Jews, which was actually fascinating to me and I'd like to read more. Plus, I like saying the Yiddish words out loud.

I've got a lot more going on in the next couple months too. More school until May 15th, work is hectic this season, we're moving in the middle of June, another very intense class starts July 1st...then there is that whole wedding thing. Planning that has come to a complete stand-still because of my schedule. Whatever I've got left to do is either going to wait until early July or just isn't going to happen.

Thank God the thesis thing can be more or less ignored until August.

In other news, I think this is depressing and sad.

Well hello, shitstorm.

I realize that not a lot of people really know what AT’s do, but after 7 months of explaining it repeatedly to a bunch of physiotherapists from India (aka my classmates) you’d think that something would have caught on.

Now there is a big ignorant (on their part) can of worms opening on our class discussion board. And for once it wasn’t a product of something I said. My new and current philosophy of class participation will keep me sane and happy and I will sit back and not get involved or give a shit.

Reflections on the road

I'm rarely in my car alone for longer than about 25 minutes at a time, but on the rare occasion that I am, I tend to use that time to reflect on whatever is on my mind. Yesterday I drove to Madison from Milwaukee. Not a long drive, but at little over an hour, it's much more than I'm used to these days.

Once I got on the 94 (Hi Jess!), I almost immediately started thinking of my extreme dislike of grad school and my classmates.

What have I learned in last 7 months?

Is it worth all of this anger and frustration?

Is there a way for me to get passed all of this anger and frustration or at least put a damper on it?

My immediate answers? Nothing. No. No.

After some thought? Not much change, but a little more clarity. Some of you probably aren't going to like this, but I have an answer to all three.

I have learned that I make a mean excel spreadsheet that transforms me into a descriptive statistics master. More importantly, I've learned that I don't need to work nearly as hard as I have been. My answers don't need to make that much sense. My classmates don't know WTF I'm talking about anyway. When they respond to my posts with dumb questions that don't make any sense, I'm not going to answer. When they will ask me a question that was already answered in my original post, I will tell them to drop out and come back when they speak English to read it again. When I have to answer their original posts, I will give the same wishy-washy crap cop-out answer that they give each other: "Very good answer, I agree." (even if I don't) because really - no one cares.

I'm going to try this for the next week or so and see what happens. I'm sure my stress, frustration, and anger levels will go down a bit. If for some reason I start losing points, then I'll find a new strategy...preferably one that keeps me from wanting to reach through my computer screen and choke people and doesn't involve drugs or alcohol.

My focus is going to stay on the important thing, which is my non-thesis that is pretty much still a thesis. My masters degree depends on that thing. Not the bogus bullshit discussions with my classmates. Not the A's I'm getting. I'm going to go the C student route for awhile.

And I'm going to love it.

First full day of spring, my ass!

Yesterday it was sunny and warm (by our current standards) and most of the snow was gone except for where it was piled up from the plow. Today, we get a foot of snow.

In other randomness...

I'm rocking my NCAA basketball brackets, which is funny because I don't like basketball. Well, I didn't anyway. Now I am more than happy to have it on all day long so I can cheer for my picks. Why the sudden change? I'm taking part in fundraiser for National Athletic Training Month. The winner of the bracket pool thingamawhateveryoucallit gets the money donated to the athletic training program of their choice. Mine, of course, would go to Fresno State (much to the dismay of my fellow participants in this). I miss those bastards. As an AT, it is illegal to personally profit from any type of betting etc., but from what I understand, we can donate to any organization. I'm glad I wasn't the one in charge of figuring these rules and loopholes out.

In other news, I'm back to the beginning with wedding dress shopping. I'm not happy about it. Neither of my dresses (I have two) fit me properly. One I gained too much weight for. The other is not flattering. At all. I have no idea what I want, other than to not look like a puffy white marshmallow cow on our wedding day.

I'm really looking forward to going to Madison on Tuesday morning and spending the night at a friend's house for some quality chick-time. We're going to eat, drink, and play Wii. Maybe we'll do each other's hair and talk about boys and have a pillow fight. At some point I might even go try on a few dresses, ideally after I've had several drinks, but we'll see.

I also have this crappy prospectus to write for my crappy "non-thesis" grad school option. I use the term non-thesis loosely, because in my eyes, it's still pretty much a freaking thesis. Maybe at some point during this spring break (only from work - not school) I'll sit down and find the articles I should have looked for a week ago. Maybe.

The vicious cyce of suck.

So I just logged in to blackboard to see whats new for my online class this week and SURPRISE! my other class starts today.

I'm not sure if I just didn't know when it started, or if I just totally blocked it out. I'm betting that I chose to block it out.

Shit.

Since excuses are like assholes...

(everybody’s got one)

Here is mine.

I’m sorry I haven’t posted or called or emailed in so long. I’ve been busier than ever. The office manager at the clinic quit, so I’ve been working there in her job every day from 9 am until 2:30 (until the new girl can start - 2 more weeks), then heading straight to my other job until at least 6, and sometimes as late as 9 pm. Then there is grad school crap to do when I get home.

Somewhere in all that I eat and sleep.

I’ve also been really busy gaining 12 lbs in the last 30 days (exactly). The only thing that has changed in my life habits in the sleep. So what I’m saying is apparently the trazodone has turned my metabolism into molasses on a cold cold day. TWELVE POUNDS. 30 DAYS. If I kept that up for a year, I’d gain 144 lbs. Yikes. I have this wedding dress I need to fit into, too. I already ordered the next size up because while the first one fit, it was snug, and I didn’t want to chance it. Now the new, bigger one is a worse fit than the first one was! WTF!

Anyway, I called my swell VA doctor (well, her nurse actually), and not only did she answer my call, she explained what was going on to my doctor AND called me back! They are replacing the trazodone with ambien, so hopefully that works out and maybe it will even bring my metabolism back to it’s former state, or God-willing, even BETTER than that. Somehow I doubt it.

Anyway, I also have this glorious fish-fry/brewery tour/irish pub/pizza shuttle night (with pictures!) to blog about, I just don’t have the time right now. My fingers are crossed for this weekend. Check back then :)

another grad school rant

Feel free to ignore.

Dear Instructor,

I’m still not an OT. I am not really sure how you can expect me to come up with some logical next steps of investigating any kind of treatment for this particular issue. I don’t know jack shit about it outside of the journal article you had us read as part of the assignment in the first place.

I can’t wait until this class is over. It sucks.

J.

The verdict is in:

On the charge of this masters degree being damn near useless: GUILTY.

More competitive in job interviews. That’s all it’s got, and it’s not unique. Any masters would give me that.

An exerpt from the reply:

“The benefits of this degree may be less tangible than you would like. Hopefully you will learn a few things along the way that will make you a stronger professional in terms of your theoretical thinking, your ability to write, and your ability to consume the scientific literature. But these are things that are hard to describe or write out in a resume. Having the [name of degree] may make you more comptetive in job interviews. Finally, the [name of degree] can be a stepping stone to a doctoral degree should you decide to do that. You would need to select the thesis option if that was your plan.”

Did you see that? I can’t even describe it on a resume. No additional useful skills. Also…no chance in hell will I ever go for a doctoral degree.

I’ll give him credit for using some good, sugar-coated advisor-speak. He’s also a very nice man.

Some of you in higher ed may think I’m nuts and wonder what the hell I expected from a graduate degree in the first place. This is a great question. I didn’t expect anything because I never had plans to get a graduate degree. Ever. It’s something I really honestly knew nothing about when I signed up for it - all I knew was that I never had any intention of writing a thesis if I ever went. Stupid of me? Yes. But in my defense, I did it to guarantee I’d have an income (GA position) when I moved across the country and in case I didn’t pass my national certification on the first try. I did pass the first time, but not before it was too late.

So here I am. Stuck.

Changing my major would be a waste of time, energy, and money at this point…so I’ll just deal with it.

At least I sleep now. Yay trazodone!

Depressing.

I just printed out everything for one of my grad school classes. I wanted to cry. I don't want to do it. I hate it. HATE. Oh, and the class? It's taught by my advisor.

So I guess I'm not changing my major since no one will communicate with me.

I'm still hoping king douchebag my advisor will tell me something that will make this not feel like such a waste of time.

I'm pretty sure my advisor is ignoring me

Dear Advisor,

I wrote you an email 10 days ago with some questions about changing my major and I’ve gotten no response. You’ve sent emails and posted other things to our class website since then, so I know you’re around. It wasn’t even a difficult question - pretty much “yes” or “no”. So WTF?

I know you aren’t my biggest fan, since I’m the only one that ever has an opinion on anything, and I’m not a big fan of yours either, but that doesn’t make you any less my advisor. Just answer the damn question already.

Or are you mad that I’m not enjoying your “baby”? Yes, I realize that you developed this program and are the head of it and pretty much “the man” when it comes to anything related to it. But guess what? It’s not for everyone. It’s not for me. I pretty much hate it and feel like it’s useless to me, to be honest. Which brings me to the second email I wrote you 2 days ago…are you going to answer that one? I’m not complaining about you ignoring that one yet, but I wonder if you will even be able to tell me WTF I can do differently after I have it. As far as I can tell, I will still only be able to be an athletic trainer with nothing to fall back on or use otherwise. That is really unappealing and furthers my opinion that this is a waste of time.

Sincerely,

J.

Grades

I finally got my grades for my last class. I find the +/- system strange, but the B+ I got is a nice comeback from the low C I started out with!

For as much as I hate grad school, 2 A's and a B+ is a nice finish to my first semester. GPA so far: 3.66

(more if the "+" actually counts)

I iz no kolidge studunt 4 now

Let the 5 weeks of not having to think about useless grad school crap begin…NOW!

My final exam was a hundred times lighter that I was expecting it to be, and thanks to this lovely snow day, I have it finished 2 and a half days early.

It’s just work, food, holidays, alcohol, and scrabulous until January 28th. Sweet