Jessie who?

Sooo...

How many blogs have I started out that way, anyway? 

Anyway.  I've been kind of gone.  I stopped updating on what piece of fruit you could compare our kid to.  

I plan to start blogging again - in fact it is my half-assy New Year's resolution.  I'm going to do a project called Project365 along with some other friends of mine, so those will be popping up.  I love photography - I'm not awesome but I don't suck, and I want more practice.  I've also been kind of getting away from it a little bit because of how tired and down in the dumps I've been with my job.  This will challenge me to do all of those things. 

I'd also like to periodically write letters to our baby to someday share with her...

Speaking of "her"...I guess it has been awhile.  Yes, Moby is a girl, and her name is Sophie Lora.  The short version of how we got there: we liked the name Sophie (along with 2 others - but she just "felt" like a Sophie) and Lora is after my my mom who is named Lori and her grandma that she was named after - Lora.  Corey also had a grandma Loraine.   

We are also in the process of buying a house - we put an offer in a little over a week ago.  We thought the price was very reasonable, but we still offered a little less.  They countered with a little more, but still under what we thought was reasonable, so we took it.  Our inspection is tomorrow, and if something is totally awful that we don't want to deal with, we can still get out of it.  Otherwise, it is all ours!  More on that another time.  

Anyway, here is how I've changed over the last couple weeks...maybe this will hold you over while I work on getting my sh*t together to start blogging regularly again - it's not New Year's YET...so let me procrastinate a bit more!


23 weeks


22 weeks


21 weeks


19 weeks

12 weeks.

Your adorable little fetus is busy with thumb sucking, toe wiggling, and (not so cute but equally amazing) making urine and breathing amniotic fluid as the liver, kidneys and spleen continue to develop. Lanugo (thin, downy hair) is growing all over the body for warmth. 

How your baby's growing:

This week's big developments: Your baby can now squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his thumb! Thanks to brain impulses, his facial muscles are getting a workout as his tiny features form one expression after another. His kidneys are producing urine, which he releases into the amniotic fluid around him — a process he'll keep up until birth. He can grasp, too, and if you're having an ultrasound now, you may even catch him sucking his thumb.

In other news: Your baby's stretching out. From head to bottom, he measures 3 1/2 inches — about the size of a lemon — and he weighs 1 1/2 ounces. His body's growing faster than his head, which now sits upon a more distinct neck. By the end of this week, his arms will have grown to a length that's in proportion to the rest of his body. (His legs still have some lengthening to do.) He's starting to develop an ultra-fine, downy covering of hair, called lanugo, all over his body. Your baby's liver starts making bile this week — a sign that it's doing its job right — and his spleen starts helping in the production of red blood cells. Though you can't feel his tiny punches and kicks yet, your little pugilist's hands and feet (which now measure about 1/2 inch long) are more flexible and active.

• How far along? 14 weeks
• Total weight gain: +2. Starting to feel a little better.
  
• How big is baby?  A lemon.  
• Maternity clothes? Want more.
• Sleep? Not enough.Never enough!
  
• Best moment this week? I developed an aversion to chicken, but started feeling better yesterday and did fine with it.  It's the little things...we have a freezer full of chicken.
• Movement? No...but something feels weird sometimes. 
  
• Food cravings? Nothing really sounds good still, but things aren't sounding as bad either.
  
• Labor signs? Not remotely.
• Belly button in or out? Innie 
• What I miss: craving food.
• What I'm looking forward to: Hearing the heartbeat on Wednesday.
  
• Milestone: Entering the second trimester!
  

Already.

We are out of control already.

About 2 weeks ago we "made a quick run" to a woodworking store to see what kind of crib blueprints they carried because Corey is thinking about building Moby's crib.  Since we were already halfway there, I asked him if he wanted to go check out Babies R Us. 

Sure!  So off we went.

It became pretty clear as soon as we walked in there that we weren't leaving empty handed.  Our plan became to buy one thing each paycheck so it's not all overwhelming and expensive.  I saw flaws in this plan too, but it was too fun to say no to right away.

After running our hands across every crib, sitting in every rocker, and pushing every shiny toy button we saw.  Then we found the swings.  This swing was AWESOME.  It didn't swing like a normal swing, played cool music and nature sounds and womb sounds (which sounds bizarre, but hey).  You can even plug an mp3 player into it and pump The Beatles or Vanilla Ice or Snoop Dogg in your newborn's head if you want.  Not that we would do that.

Of course they were out of stock.

So we got a bouncy seat instead. Of course it vibrates and does cool stuff too. 

But...as soon as we get home, Corey asks me to see if I can find the super swing of awesomeness online.  I do, and we order it.  We went and picked it up last Monday.  Of course someone (aka...not me) decides it needs to be put together THAT NIGHT!  We're a little excited.  I mean seriously, the head thing has fuzzy little bear ears.  I also showed Corey how to swaddle on a stuff bear his grandma made.

You can see the beginning and then the end results.  The cat was not amused, and Corey proved to me that no one wants a camera right up in their face by doing it to me.

13 weeks

I promise that these aren't going to be the only blog posts I ever have.  I'm just in a big funk right now with my job, and the job I've been offered.  If I wasn't so happy about this baby, I think I'd be in a pretty dark and depressed place right now. 

Have I said that already?

If so, sorry. 

Anyway. 

Your fetus is forming teeth and vocal cords... savor this, their non-functional phase. Baby is approaching normal proportions, with a head now only one third the size of the body. Intestines are in the process of moving from the umbilical cord to baby's tummy. (Much more convenient.)

 

How your baby's growing:

Fingerprints have formed on your baby's tiny fingertips, her veins and organs are clearly visible through her still-thin skin, and her body is starting to catch up with her head — which makes up just a third of her body size now. If you're having a girl, she now has more than 2 million eggs in her ovaries. Your baby is almost 3 inches long (the size of a medium shrimp) and weighs nearly an ounce.

• How far along? 13 weeks
• Total weight gain:  -1.  I was really sick the last few days.
  
• How big is baby?  A peach.  
• Maternity clothes? Found the Gap Maternity clearance section at the mall.  SCORE.
• Sleep? Not enough. 
• Best moment this week? Let's go with worst.  How about when I ran out of Zofran thursday and was sicker than ever for 2 days until I got my refill.  Not pretty.
• Movement? It'll be awhile. 
  
• Food cravings? Nothing sounds good.
  
• Labor signs? Not remotely.
• Belly button in or out? Innie 
• What I miss: craving food.
• What I'm looking forward to: Feeling better. Feeling Better.  Feeling better.
  
• Milestone: I had to buy a bigger bra already.  These things are going to be out of control when all is said and done. 

12 Weeks

As you move into the second trimester, baby shifts into the growth and maturation stage. After weeks in the critical development stage, almost all of baby's systems are fully formed. 

How your baby's growing:

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

• How far along? 12 weeks
• Total weight gain:  0.
• How big is baby?  Some say the size of a either a plum or a lime.  
• Maternity clothes? I'm wearing maternity jeans and a shirt today.  So much more comfortable.
  
• Sleep? Not enough. 
• Best moment this week? All of the laughs Corey and I have over the future of this baby.
  
• Movement? Not that I can feel, but apparently it's busy in there. 
  
• Food cravings? Orange sherbet. Mmm.
  
• Labor signs? Not remotely.
• Belly button in or out? Innie 
• What I miss: my bladder of steel
  
• What I'm looking forward to: Feeling better.
  
• Milestone: None that I can think of. 

Wish me luck.

I have a job interview first thing tomorrow morning.  I realize I never blogged about the job that I took 2 months ago, but that's probably a good thing since I pretty much hate it to pieces.  I need out of there....like yesterday.  There is also another job that I threw my hat in the ring for, but I haven't heard from them yet.

Anyway, the job I'm interviewing for tomorrow is one that I applied for months ago via this company's career site.  I meet their qualifications so exactly that it is a bit freakish, so I was bummed that I never heard from them.  Last week (or was it the week before?) I realized that the job was still posted.  I thought that was strange and decided it was time for a new approach.  I looked up some specific people within the company that would likely be who I'd work directly for, and sent my resume and cover letter directly to them.  I heard back from them less than 24 hours later.

I felt pretty ballsy for doing that.  Now that I have an interview I am wondering where my balls went.

I guess we'll find out at 8 am.

So hey, we're having baby!

We've known for over a month, and I think most of you who read this know already too.  I wasn't keeping it a secret or hiding it, I'm just a lazy blogger.  It doesn't help that with the phone, email, and whatever else, I feel like the world already knows!

Anyway, our first ultrasound was on Thursday, and things are looking great so far!

As of today I am 11 weeks, 1 day and due on April 24th.  The baby actually measures a few days short of that (due to my longer cycles), but a few days isn't enough for my doc to change the due date for it, so there it is!  My grandma's birthday is also the 24th, and Corey's is the 26th, so there is a chance for some birthday sharing there.

I started out feeling great, and then morning sickness hit full force.  And I mean full.  I was having a hard time keeping down even water and bread and vitamins, so I am taking Zofran twice a day to keep myself going.  It helps a ton, although I still get nauseated once or twice day for a bit.  Other than that, I'm crazy tired, just like every other pregnant woman in the history of man.  Making it through the day is HARD, yo.  Especially since I HATE MY JOB TO PIECES - but that is a story for another day.

If you're interested, I made sure to put an obnoxious baby-countdown-ticker thingamajig (wow, firefox recognizes that as a word?) on the top of my blog page.

So what's new with the Moby this week (short for Morris-Baby if you aren't one of the people who know me as Mo)?  I guess I'll go with the "standard" blog post that knocked up chicks I know seem to go with.  If it ain't broke, don't fix it, right?  Let's start by comparing the baby to fruit.

From The Bump: Your fetus currently enjoys a 1:1 ratio between body and head, and has skin so transparent that blood vessels show right through. But, fingers and toes are no longer webbed, and hair follicles, tooth buds and nail beds are forming -- setting up a significantly more attractive future.

From BabyCenter: Your baby, just over 1 1/2 inches long and about the size of a fig, is now almost fully formed. Her hands will soon open and close into fists, tiny tooth buds are beginning to appear under her gums, and some of her bones are beginning to harden.

She's already busy kicking and stretching, and her tiny movements are so effortless they look like water ballet. These movements will become more frequent as her body grows and becomes more developed and functional. You won't feel your baby's acrobatics for another month or two — nor will you notice the hiccuping that may be happening now that her diaphragm is forming.

• How far along? 11 weeks
• Total weight gain:  I'm even now.  I lost 4 at first from being so sick.
• How big is baby?  Some say the size of a lime, some say a fig.  
• Maternity clothes? I'm wearing a Bella Band with my work clothes, stretchy yoga pants are my best friend, and I've bought some maternity clothes here and there.  I wear some of them already.
• Sleep? Not enough.  I'm so tired. I already wake up 3 or so times a night to pee, and I'm already having a hard time getting comfortable.  I'm going to be in for a REAL treat a few months from now.
• Best moment this week? Seeing the baby on the first ultrasound, and getting to have an external one.  Also, my husband is so fun in the baby sections of stores.  He's so excited - I love it.
• Movement? Bowels would be good.  Otherwise, no.  
• Food cravings? Very rarely does ANYTHING sound good right now.  But when it does, it really really does.
• Labor signs? Not remotely.
• Belly button in or out? Innie 
• What I miss:  a normal digestive system
• What I'm looking forward to: Everyone says I'll feel tons better and have more energy in the 2nd trimester.  I hope they are right.  Desperately.  2 more weeks.
  
• Milestone: None that I can think of. 
  

About that road trip we took. Part 1

It's that time of the month again.

The time where I remember I have this blog that I used to be pretty good about and figure I should post something.  Today that something is going to be our road trip that we took for our first anniversary.  Our first anniversary that was in JULY.  TWO MONTHS AGO.

Sigh.

I'm so behind here.

So maybe taking a road trip isn't everyone's romantic cup o' tea to celebrate an anniversary,  neither is camping for your honeymoon...but it's ours.  We're just like that.  Plus, we don't have a lot of money, and probably never will.  It's a good thing we're easily amused!

Anyway...our road trip's major destinations were Mt. Rushmore and Yellowstone National Park.  From Milwaukee.

Yeah, it's a long drive.

Which is why we did it in one smokin' hot rental car.

So what kinds of things does one amuse oneself with when on the road for 14 or so hours at a time?

A normal passenger would probably sleep or read.  Kids might play that game where you try to get through the alphabet by finding the letters on license plates while blasting The Ramones on their walkman.  Or, at least that's what kids used to do back in the 70's, 80's...early 90's.

Before backseat DVD players and PSP's and wtf-ever else brats are toting around these days.  Those things that I totally plan on having for my kids so they might not ask if we're there yet 800 times.

At least I'm honest.

And ummm...the kid blasting The Ramones on the road trip...not me, I swear.  Way too cool for that.

Ok, I'm lying.

What was my point?  I probably didn't have one.

Oh.  Yeah.  Armed with a camera and eleventy hours of road in front of us, I give you this masterpiece.

What is that?  It is license plates from all but 13 states.  Even half of Canada is represented, eh.  AND! I even managed to find Alaska and Hawaii.  Impressive, no?  

And how the F did I miss WISCONSIN?  Of all plates?

I'm also missing Connecticut, Delaware, Indiana, Louisiana, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, Rhode Island, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Vermont.  I'm not surprised about New Hampshire or Rhode Island since only like 3 people live in each state.  Hi Renee!  Connecticut went unspotted as well, but I KNOW I saw the rest.  Bummer.  I need to be a little quicker on the draw I guess. 

I got a lot of strange looks from strange people while taking up this temporary hobby.  I think that is what made me keep doing it.

Anyway, mark this post down as the most pointless vacation post ever.  Just trying to weed out the weak blog readers.  The ones who weren't sure if I was a total waste of their precious google reader time or not ;) 

About that time I was sick...

In an attempt to get caught up on some of the major happenings of this summer, I'm going to tackle it one topic at a time, and not necessarily in order. Why? I don't know. But maybe it will explain the extended absences mixed with the lame half-a*ssed (*'s for mom's work filter, remember?) returns.

So let's see.

Well...

I spent the end of June and almost ALL of July sick as a dog.

It started with a super fun combination of laryngitis, bronchitis, and strep throat. I managed to lose my voice ENTIRELY for 5+ days. Let me tell you how fun that was - especially when I was working a few 10 hour days at cycling races and had to communicate with everyone via walkie-talkie. It was a lost cause. Even whispering was difficult. I felt like I had climbed a flight of stairs after the effort it would take to push out just one sentence. Bad news. Then there were days I couldn't swallow, days I didn't sleep because I would cough all night.

UGLY.

I went to the doctor, got antibiotics and some other good fun drugs.

And then I thought I was better after about 3.5 weeks.

For like two whole days.

WRONG AGAIN, CHIEFTAIN.

After 2 whole days of feeling great and finally indulging in a nice, summery, ice cold beer, my throat started getting sore again. And then I couldn't swallow.

Oh! And there was that morning (before I was leaving for work) that I almost passed out in the shower. I had to lay down in the tub and turn the water off with my feet. That was fun.

Then I drove 40 minutes to sit in the sun on a super humid day for 2 hours.

As soon as I got back, I went to the walk-in clinic doctor that I see through our private insurance. He thought it was still the same thing and did a strep test (negative) and told me to drink a lot of gatorade and soup. Umm. Sure.

He also did an x-ray of my ribs because I managed to either sprain/strain/or hairline fracture one from coughing so hard.

A few days later I still felt miserable. Perhaps MORE miserable....and now I couldn't hear out of my right ear and the left one was feeling weird. I had a standing appointment at the VA a few days later because they like to see you at least once a year. I was going to cancel it, but since I still felt crappy and my old doctor there (that I couldn't stand) was finally gone, I decided to keep it.

My new VA doctor? AWESOME. I love her. Not as much as the one I had in Fresno, but still, I like her a lot. AND...she didn't tell me to east some soup and drink some gatorade. She actually examined me again, which is kind of more (or at least different) than the walk-in doctor did.

Turns out my other stuff had evolved into pneumonia and a double ear infection! Awesome. I also needed to start using an inhaler and she said there was a chance I'd need it in the future now that I had been so sick for so long

So that took some more time to get over. I was very weak for quite awhile and my hearing didn't return very quickly either. I was still sick when we left for our week long anniversary road trip...

...which I'll write about next time.

Since I officially suck at blogging....

I stole this from Jessica's blog. Play if you want . . .

1. Who are you?
2. How did you find my blog?
3. What do you like most on my blog?
4. What would you like me to blog more about?
5. A totally random fact about yourself!

SparkPeople? Anyone?

Or are you all Daily Plate-rs?

I am really genuinely trying to watch and keep track of what I am eating.  I'm 2 days in and going strong.  Yesterday and so far today I'm under on calorie intake and yesterday I went on a 90 minute bike ride.

If anyone is on SP, you should add me as a friend (Mo1978) so we can be nosy and stalk what the other is eating/doing/losing.

Crappiest Grandchild Ever.

I posted about our anniversary a week and a half ago but failed to say Happy Birthday to my grandma Marge on the same day (July 26th)! 

Happy Birthday!  I wish I had a picture of us on my computer that I could post here! 

I also want to wish my great-grandma Eula who turned 101 on the 27th!  I haven't seen her in 3 years but I hope to see her soon!

Miss you both! 

One Year.

One year ago today, July 26th, Corey and I were married in his mom and step-dad's backyard in Monona, Wisconsin.  It was a gorgeous and unforgettable day!

Cheers to our first fabulous year together!  Here's to many, many more!

(Photo by CaseyBower Photography)

Playing with pictures

My good friend Jodi posted this picture that she took on Facebook.  I love the picture.  It looks like an amazingly peaceful and relaxing place to sit.

(Click pictures to enlarge)

 

But then I realized that the chair is red, and I wanted a way to make it "pop" more in the picture.  So I played around with it some.  Here is what my creative-when-it-wants-to-be mind came up with:

Something about it this way evokes a little more emotion, I think.  If that makes sense.  Maybe a surrealistic feeling of solitude?  I don't know.  For some reason those are the words that come to my mind.

If anyone else likes to do this kind of thing, every week Laura from Dolce Pics has a segment called "What's Your Play" on her blog where she posts a picture and everyone edits it however they see it and submits it back.  It's really fun to see the things people can do with pictures and programs like Photoshop and Lightroom.  I haven't been able to sit down and really figure out my Photoshop yet, so I do all my stuff in Picasa.

My husband packs a mean left.

Ok, ok. My husband doesn't beat me. I suppose domestic violence jokes are kind of tasteless.

But, that's what I've decided I'm telling nosy people who don't know me if they ask what happened to my face. If it happens, I figure that might shut them up. But then again it might get Corey arrested - I guess I don't want that.

Thursday night as I was getting to work at the baseball game, my mother- and stepfather-in-law were on the phone. I was kind of in a hurry and getting impatient because they were on speaker phone so they were both talking about I don't know what (and maybe not even to me). I didn't want to be on the phone in the dugout, so after I got in the gate, I plopped myself down on the cooler I was carrying until they were done. There was still a little bit until game-time, so a few guys were playing catch in the outfield not far from where I had plopped myself down.

I swear to God not ONE second after I closed my phone, I hear someone yell "JESSIE!" from a little to the side and behind me. I start to turn just in time to get drilled in the cheek by a missed fastball.

OW.

That woke me up faster than a fresh latte with a quadruple shot of crack.

Luckily, I was sitting on a cooler full of ice, and like the good athletic trainer I am, I iced it right away. I'm positive that I have the ice to thank for why my face doesn't look worse than it does now. That ball hit me HARD.

The kids felt bad, but it was just an accident, and I definitely should have been paying better attention.

Here is how it has evolved over the last few days.


Day 1: Just a big swollen red mark


Day 2: Still a swollen red mark, but a little purple-y at the corner of my eye


Day 3: Yellow cheek, a little shadow forming under the eye


Day 4: The lighting on this is horrible because I was in my mother-in-law's icky flourescent bathroom that shows you things you never wanted to see, but my check is now a lovely jaundice-looking yellow, there is yellow all the way to the inside corner of my eye, and the shiner is visible. Still a little swollen too. Actually, since I took this picture this morning, the black circle is much more developed than it shows here.

I wonder how it will look tomorrow when I have to go to baseball again.  Maybe the baseball moms will stop being stingy and give me free drinks again if it still looks bad... :)

Interviews

I was going to summarize all my interviews thus far, but first let me give a quick rundown/response to some comments to yesterday's post:

Melaina & AM - I was a student too, but I was also in a paid graduate assistant position. It was only a 2 year position, so I didn't quit, but I wasn't laid off either. It's just kind of...over. But, I was/am used to having an income from it that was (sadly) my livelihood, and I don't have it anymore.

Nic - Thank you. I've been reading your entries about how you've been feeling and I know that every time I've thought about how much I can relate. I'm sorry I haven't commented on it sooner.

Anyway...

So I've had multiple interviews with 3 different places so far.

Prospect 1:
The first is for an admin job at the VA hospital. It's the federal government, so things move really slow. I had one interview at the end of May that was with 5 people and it went really well. About 2 weeks later I had another interview with them - they called and wanted to know if I could come in THAT DAY. That wasn't very convenient since Corey and I were about to head to a Brewers game about 2 hours later.

I told them that if they didn't mind me coming in there dressed for a ball game, then I didn't mind being there in an hour. So I went...with only an hour's notice. That one went really well too. That time there were only 2 people there, one I had met already and one I had not. That one went REALLY well.

They really only had one concern and they were very blatant about it. They feel that I am WAY overqualified for the job and that it doesn't pay me anything near what I'm worth. Well...athletic training doesn't really translate over to anything but athletic training so really, what else can I do about it? It would be a career change - I can't expect to start high in it. Anyway...still waiting for a call on that either way. Should know soon...we are creeping up on a month. Added bonus with this job: I'd be able to retire at age 50 since I already have some federal time in service.

Prospect 2:
This job is an industrial/occupational athletic training job through one company for a department store supply/logistics warehouse (both shall remain nameless for the sake of the blog - email me if you are dying to know for some reason). I REALLY wanted this job. It is close to where I live, pays well (for athletic training), has normal workday hours (which I dream about), benefits, PTO, holidays, nights, and weekends off. You know...Things I Forgot Exist.

I applied on a Wednesday morning - RIGHT after it was first posted. On Friday, 2 days later, I had an email from the main recruiter guy wanting me to call him right away to discuss the position further. Ok! I called right away. Left a voicemail. No response. Then comes Monday. Tuesday. I send an email back to him with my info again blah blah blah. Wednesday. WTH? Finally on Thursday (after I was stupidly starting to take in personally) I get a phone call back - apparently they had a wicked power outage in Texas and everything was messed up and behind schedule and then the poor guy had to deal with taking his mom to eye surgery.

He pretty much phone-interviewed me on the spot. Then told me the regional manager for the position would contact me in a few days. She did, and also basically phone-interviewed me right then and there. We also scheduled an in-person interview at the warehouse site with 3 of the people in charge there for last Friday (the 26th).

Unfortunately by that day I had very little voice left. It was hoarse, but it was there. Anyway. That interview didn't go very well. For starters, they have very little knowledge on what exactly an athletic trainer is and does and is capable of. They have had an RN working there for the last 20 years so I guess I shouldn't really expect them to...except for the fact that they are switching to the AT model now but whatever. Then, it was pretty clear throughout the interview and the questions that they were asking me that I definitely do not have the experience they are looking for. Either that or their expectations are way off. Honestly I'm not sure which it is or if it is a little of both.

They basically want someone with a ton of prevention program developing and implementation experience (it was more specific than that - this is just the vague version of the story), and a lot of workers comp experience, among other things. Also, I saw the guy they interviewed before me while he was on his way out. Then, while we were in there, I was spying across the table and saw his name on a paper.

So...OBVIOUSLY I googled him when I got home. Obviously.

Yeah. I am SO not getting this job. Unless, of course, he turns it down. 1) He already works for the company that is staffing the postion.... 2) doing WORK COMP CLAIMS AND SERVICES. And, based on what I saw, he is much more likely to have experience with the prevention program than I am.

I do have a couple things in my favor, but I don't think it's enough. I am capable of spelling the words "bachelor", "licensed", "undergrad", and "procedure" (as opposed to batchler, liscenes, undergrade, and prucedure). AND I have a masters degree...he doesn't. Unfortunately I don't think that is as important to them as experience.

Prospect 3:
This is for a high school. It would be a much better and more supported position than the one I am in now, but otherwise it would be a whole lot more of the same. I'm not very excited about this position, but it wouldn't be bad. I already met with a recruiter for the health care company that is staffing the position, and then today I met with the people who would be my supervisor(s). I really liked them, but I'm just not so keen on dealing with more of the same stuff that has been driving me nuts all along, but with a snobbier, more spoiled, and more in-the-spotlight high school. Blah.

So yeah, that's that.

I have a little bit of voice back. My doctor wanted me to switch to an expectorant after a few days of the codeine (and save the codeine for night time) and I think that will help a lot with clearing all this crap out of me and give my vocal cords an unobstructed chance to move around again. We shall see.

Is it weird that in the last 2 days I've developed an irrational fear that my vocal chords are going to forget how to function?

I'm here somewhere, I swear.

A few weeks ago I told myself I was going to be a better blogger. Aim for a post every other day at least, I thought.

*cough*

Hmm.

I know why I haven't done it, but my reasons for not posting are the EXACT. SAME. REASONS. that I should be writing. To get it all out.

You see, I'm slinking back into my Bad Place. I know I am. I'm pretty sure the only thing keeping me out of The Bad Place is the fact that my mom has been doing and sounding so well.

Otherwise...well...otherwise I manage to turn just about EVERY conversation I participate in into whatever Debbie Downer thing creeps into my head first, since every good thing seems to remind me of some other thing in my life that is really sucking. So, of course I've been avoiding people because I really can't stand the idea of dragging any and/or everyone down with me when I'm like this. I hate that I can take everyone's advice but my own.

Here is the short version of what is going on in my life right now:

• I still have no job.
• Today was my last paycheck.
• I'm not sure I qualify for unemployment.
• The weather was stupid hot for about a week, which of course made me extra cranky and miserable.
  
• I've been sick since Wednesday, and haven't had a voice since Friday.  
• I had a fairly crappy interview on Friday for a job I really really wanted.
• I have another interview tomorrow (July 1st) - but I still have no voice.  Not sure how that is going to work, but I know I can't reschedule it again because I already did it once.  It was originally supposed to have been on Monday.  
• I had no interest in this job...until my other interview sucked.  I am running out of options.
• I did finally go to the doctor yesterday (Monday).  Bronchitis, laryngitis, and an infection in my throat.  Fabulous.

I dunno.  I'm just down.  Unhappy.  Frustrated.  Negative.  Uncertain.  Impatient. Discontent.

It's temporary. 

It always is.

Here is what I have to say to you, breast cancer.

Got that?

2 days ago my cousin, who is a year younger than me, found out she has breast cancer. Yesterday, she found out that it's also spread a bit to her lungs and bones. That's the bad news. The good news (via my grandma - so not very descriptive) is that it is some rare form that starts with an "r" and tends to respond well to treatment.

This cousin and I were close as close can be when we were kids. Our relationship (along with all our other cousins) is part of the reason moving to Wisconsin felt so easy to me. I want our kids to grow up with cousins their age all over the place and family nearby. Even though I had that as a kid in Oregon, now everyone has kind of scattered and are in different stages of life (or jail, if your name is Craig and you're a total douche). Anyway, when I moved to California we kind of lost touch. We picked it back up again to a minimal degree while I was stationed in Washington, but once I left there (in 2000), I honestly don't think we've spoken since. Maybe once while I was home on leave, but that was it.

Fried chicken and chocolate milk. Mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

I miss her. I haven't even seen pictures. I probably wouldn't recognize her if I passed by her on the street. It has always made me a little sad, but even more so now.

My family really isn't that big, but so far you've got my grandma (mom's stepmom), my great aunt (dad's aunt), and now my 29 year old cousin. I'm sure there are more too, I'm just too distant from so much of my family to know about it.

So anyway, breast cancer. F you. I mean, thanks for not being you last fall with that big friendly lump in my breast, but I'm tired of seeing you everywhere. I know a lot of my friends are seeing far too much of you too.

When life hands you rhubarb...

...make rhubarb bread.



I've never made anything with rhubarb before (I used to pick it out of my great grandma's yard as a kid and eat it straight out of the ground), so when a patient at the PT clinic offered us all rhubarb, I intially turned it down. I don't like fruit pies of any kind, and I didn't have any other ideas.

But then they started talking about rhubarb bread. I was intrigued, so I took some to give it a try. I didn't have very big hopes for it.

OH.

MY.

GOD.

It was heaven. It was tangy, sweet, cinnamon-y rhubarb heaven.

This is the recipe I used. I didn't realize at the time that I was making such a huge batch of it though. I only had one bread pan, so I opted for the big pan. That website will calculate the measurements for you if you are paying attention and see the option for it.

Make this bread. Now.

Tornadoes

Growing up in Oregon and California, tornadoes and threats of tornados are not something that I ever had to worry about or prepare for growing up.  They were something I saw on The Wizard of Oz, but otherwise didn't think twice about.  Ever.

Then I moved to Wisconsin, where torndaoes happen.  I have no fear of them - although I probably should.  I don't think of them very often either.

So...why do I dream about them all the time?  Even more so in the last few months?

Obviously I did what every sane and logical person does when they wonder something.

I consulted the interwebs.

I believe that dreams we have can be mundane and meaningless, but I also believe they can symbolize things and try to give us a hint or wake-up call about something going on somewhere in our lives if we choose to listen to them.


None of the  results for "tornado" are very good. (shocking!).  Let's have a look:

Tornados

• To see a tornado in your dream, suggests that you are experiencing some extreme emotional outbursts and temper tantrums. Is there a situation or relationship in your life that may be potentially destructive? 
• To dream that you are in a tornado, signifies that you are feeling overwhelmed and out of control. You will be met with a series of disappointments for the next week or so. Your plans will be filled with complications.
• To see several tornadoes in your dream, represent people around you who are prone to violent outbursts and shifting mood swings. It may also symbolize a volatile situation or relationship.

 
Tornado
If you dream that you are caught up in a tornado, or see other people in one, or you are in danger from a tornado, then you will find all your well laid business plans come to naught and failure will dog your footsteps until you do something to change your chances of success; more education, better training or so forth.

Tornado
Tornadoes are wild out of control storms that represent that the dreamer feels like their life in in a whirlwind. The stresses and problems in the waking world can be represented in a dream in the form of a tornado coming after you, your house or loved one. A dream about a tornado represents some sort of turmoil in your life. Do you feel like your life is spinning out of control? 

Yikes.

That was creepy.

I wonder how a person gets the job of making up the descriptions/interpretations for dreams.  I'm sure that many of the people writing things like that have little to no factual basis for what they write and are just very creative people that have a complete mastery of symbolism.

(PS...you like how I did that?  Completely avoided discussing the rest of the topic?  Yeah.  Me too.)

Olbrich Gardens: Spring Edition

A few weeks ago while visiting the in-laws in Madison for Mother's Day, my MIL & GMIL headed to Olbrich Gardens again to wander around and get some fresh air. The place was, as always, absolutely gorgeous. I think I could have sat there all day with the breeze and the blossoms blowing all around and all the colors.

Well of course I took pictures. Nice of you to ask! As always, click on the image it view it larger.

Enjoy.

About my (first so far) interview last week

It's that time.  Time to be stressed the hell out and hoping that someone, ANYONE, will want to interview me so I can wow them with my stunning personality (to make up for my lack of most skills unrelated to athletic training).

I'm not going to say where the interview was, or for what position, but you will probably get the general idea.  I'm pasting this from a post I wrote on a message board to some of my friends because I'm feeling generally down and lazy today.  Or most days.

So anyway.

It went...ok I guess. It was a performance based interview which was pretty much The Suck. I did ok. I had huge brain block on a couple questions and on the others I think my examples were pretty weak. I felt bad giving a bunch of examples from athletic training but that has been my life for so long that that is what I know. Of course, after the interview was over I thought of 8 million better answers to each question that would have highlighted my skills a little better. Oh well. C'est la vie.

It was a fairly laid-back interview at least, and I acted pretty natural and exuded some confidence (even though I had none) and drew a few laughs/smiles when called for.

I was only expecting one or two people interviewing me. No. There were FIVE.
3 Social Workers, 1 psychologist/suicide prevention program coordinator, and the admin support supervisor. They were all women, very nice, and not stuffy at all. It also took an hour. I'm very glad that the one thing I decided to focus on in my small amount of prep time for this was the questions for them at the end.

A few of the positive highlights:

* They looked VERY surprised when I said that yes, I did in fact have questions for them. My questions also inspired about a 15 or so minute discussion amongst/with the interviewers about what they find rewarding and fulfilling in their respective jobs and how they got into what they are doing now. As it was winding down, one of them said something like "Wow...that was almost a therapeutic discussion. Not sure that's ever happened in an interview before."

* The admin support lady walked me to the elevators and told me I answered well, which I found surprising. Not sure if she was listening to the same things coming out of my mouth and saying that to be nice or not but whatever. It was nice of her to say.

* Another one of the interviewers followed us out and said "Hold on! I want to give you something from the deleted health fair!" and ran to her office to give me a little package with a mug and a nice pen.

So...in the span of an hour I managed to initiate therapy (to therapists) and left with a gift.

Also, before I left the house, I found a broken belt loop in my new shirt, so I safety pinned it. But a few minutes later when I got to my car, I looked down and realized my left pant leg was halfway unhemmed, so I had to sacrifice the belt loop in order to safety pin the pants. I am a mess. At least the broken belt loop from the shirt was covered by my cute black cardigan that I stole from my mom.

It would be a good job.  Normal  hours, good benefits, holidays and weekends off.  I'd like it, I think.

For about 3 months.

Then I would miss the blood.  The injuries.  The people.  The sports.

But I don't really have a lot of choice in the matter.  And I would be stupid not to take it if offered.

Apparently I graduated...

...and forgot to tell you all about it.

Well, I started to.  I just never hit "publish" on the blog post and didn't realize it.  Whoops!  So here is my do-over.

On May 16th I was awarded an MS in Rehabilitation Science from the school whose logo is pictured below.  I'm not naming it because I want to brag about my accomplishments while attempting to lessen the chances of someone I know from school that I've talked crap about from stumbling upon this blog.

Man am I glad that is over.  For whatever reason, you don't graduate with honors at this particular school.  If they did factor it in though, I guess my 3.81 would have gotten me a cute little "magna cum laude" after my name in the program.  Oh well.  C'est la vie.

Anyway.  After the graduation ceremony we headed back to our house where we held a small bbq to celebrate.  Corey's brother Matt also graduated with his MA in English from UW Milwaukee that day so the party was for both of us.  Unfortunately he was sick, but that didn't stop him from playing flippy-cup later in the night.

Brecken, my best friend from the army, came to town for the weekend too.  I hadn't seen her since she flew to California for my LAST graduation, so it was awesome to spend time with her.  Over the last 7 years we've gradually started moving closer and closer together.  Right now she lives in Iowa, but eventually she'll live in Wisconsin.  For now I'm happy that our states at least share a border!

Anyway, here are some pics from the day (and well into the night).  Yes, we busted out the cornhole, learned the magical joys of flippy-cup, and then came SingStar...

San Diego, Part 6: Dinner with the family

My mom had a pile o' gift cards to Macaroni Grill (yummmm!) so we headed out. My favorite asian sister April came down to hang out with us for the day too. It was great to have a chance to hang out with her for the first time since our wedding!

Dinner was fantastic...although I don't remember what I had. Vodka penne? Something like that. It was a little spicy and a lot of delicious. I'm could go for some now...

San Diego, Part 5: The Big Project

The picture on the left is my mom's office. Or what USED to be my mom's office. Over the years, it has evolved into a dumping ground for everything under the sun...school projects, clothes that need mending, work stuff, bills, presents, wrapping paper, pictures...garbage. You name it. It was OUT OF CONTROL.

My mom works from home a lot, but as you know she hasn't been feeling well. She doesn't have the time, patience or energy to deal with this awful hidden room that used to be her nice quiet space to get work done and take calls. This was my big project I wanted to tackle while I was in California visiting and helping out. It still needs a little help, but I feel that I accomplished the mission. Look...you can see the floor! There are things that needed to be specifically dealt with by my mom, but I had everything nicely sorted so that wouldn't be such a daunting task. I'm hoping that the rest of the members of the household will start showing a little more respect for this room and most of all for my mom and all that she is and does.

San Diego, Part 4: Stoner cats, stoner cats...what are they feeding you?

Sorry for the delay in posting the rest of my pics from San Diego. Things are slowing down for me finally.

I don't think these pictures need much explanation.

Almost there.

It's a little after 11pm on May 5th, 2009.

I'm tired.
I can't unclench my jaw. 
I'm stressed.

Yet...

I'm feeling pretty good.

I just hit the send button (for the last time this time...I think) on an email to my advisor with the final copy of our thesis (a systematic review and meta-analysis I worked on with 2 other people) attached.

In 12 hours we'll be presenting our oral defense.

And then I'll be done.

THANK GOD.

I will have a few random things to touch up for my other elective class, but nothing time consuming or stressful.

Graduation is May 16th.  I wasn't going to participate in the ceremony unless my dad was coming from Oregon to watch it.  He said he was, so I bought the cap, gown, and hood and paid the fees...and now he can't make it.  At first I felt sort of "stuck" participating in the ceremony, but now I'm content to go through it all because...well...I just finished GRAD SCHOOL.  It's sort of a big deal.

Not bad for a girl who never planned on going farther than an associates (in something - anything)...which is coincidentally the one I skipped right over.

Now...

$10 says my next job is something that only required a high school diploma.

Happy 32nd Birthday!

You don't read my blog, and we aren't even in the same state right now, but I love you and miss you and hope you had a great day. Thank you for being you, and thank you for putting up with me. I can't wait to see you when you get home tomorrow!

San Diego, Part 3: Ooh La La!

In case you don't know him yet, meet Buddy. Buddy loves toys. In fact Buddy has his own toy box at home and when he goes to it, he knows exactly what he is looking for and will dig until he finds it. Here he is with some of his favorites: a flat volleyball, a frayed rope named Rasta, and his latest addition from that morning - a stuffed martini in a glass marked "Ooh, La La!", complete with olives.

Just call him Bond. Bud Bond.

(click to enlarge!)

San Diego, Part 2: Easter

Saturday afternoon the girls and I made a last minute trip to the grocery store because really, how could we not color eggs and hide them when we're all in one place at Easter for once? Well, as you can probably guess, the egg coloring kits were slim-pickings by that time. Our choice was between Tinkerbelle and Disney Princesses. Obviously, we went with Tinkerbelle. We aren't the Disney Princess type of girls.

Below is a collage of the girls coloring, the result, some of the pretty flowers blooming in the yard, and one very zen kitty.

I can't get over how grown up the girls are getting. A. is getting beautiful and so nice, normal, and easy going. B. is kind of in an awkward stage, not to mention a little bit of a bitch. Yes, I just called my 11 year old sister a bitch. Don't get me wrong, I love her to pieces, but man...I hope she grows out of this. And soon, for the sake of everyone around her. She's a smart kid though - once she is outside of the house, everyone thinks she is the sweetest, kindest, most well spoken child in all the land. Master of disguise, that one.

(click picture to enlarge)

San Diego, Part 1: Sunrise, Sunset

Sorry it took me so long to blog (and by "blog" I mean show off my pictures) from the 9 days I spent in San Diego earlier this month. Look forward to several small and probably obnoxious posts of pictures and collages :)

I left Milwaukee on April 10th, but got to see this beautiful sunrise before I took off:



And here is the sunset from my mom's bedroom balcony that welcomed me on my first night there. There is about a week this time of year that the sun sets just right in between the trees and you can just make out the Catalina Islands for a few minutes. It was too cloudy for that this first night.