Got a cat? Extra money to blow? Sick sense of humor?

How about at kitty wig?



Shop here now! Also available in Bashful Blonde, Silver Fox, and Electric Blue!

As much as I would love to see one of these on Jezebel or Zoey, I don't have that kind of money, and I don't really want them to kill me in my sleep.

Hmpf.

A recap of my morning so far:

8:40: roll out of bed

8:45: sit down on floor and finally push play on yoga show I dvr’d forever ago

8:46 -8:58: do yoga…try to keep up….not relaxing at all because I can’t relax and close my eyes and bust the sweet yoga moves all at the same time

8:59: Make coffee

9:00: eat an orange, watch yoga

9:05 - 9:15: Watch the rest of yoga show from the chair with a cup of coffee in hand.

I’m so on a roll today.

The verdict is in:

On the charge of this masters degree being damn near useless: GUILTY.

More competitive in job interviews. That’s all it’s got, and it’s not unique. Any masters would give me that.

An exerpt from the reply:

“The benefits of this degree may be less tangible than you would like. Hopefully you will learn a few things along the way that will make you a stronger professional in terms of your theoretical thinking, your ability to write, and your ability to consume the scientific literature. But these are things that are hard to describe or write out in a resume. Having the [name of degree] may make you more comptetive in job interviews. Finally, the [name of degree] can be a stepping stone to a doctoral degree should you decide to do that. You would need to select the thesis option if that was your plan.”

Did you see that? I can’t even describe it on a resume. No additional useful skills. Also…no chance in hell will I ever go for a doctoral degree.

I’ll give him credit for using some good, sugar-coated advisor-speak. He’s also a very nice man.

Some of you in higher ed may think I’m nuts and wonder what the hell I expected from a graduate degree in the first place. This is a great question. I didn’t expect anything because I never had plans to get a graduate degree. Ever. It’s something I really honestly knew nothing about when I signed up for it - all I knew was that I never had any intention of writing a thesis if I ever went. Stupid of me? Yes. But in my defense, I did it to guarantee I’d have an income (GA position) when I moved across the country and in case I didn’t pass my national certification on the first try. I did pass the first time, but not before it was too late.

So here I am. Stuck.

Changing my major would be a waste of time, energy, and money at this point…so I’ll just deal with it.

At least I sleep now. Yay trazodone!

I’m sorry, I just can’t bash a President of the United States.

Or former President.

Republican or Democrat, love them or hate them, agree with them or disagree, I just won’t do it. I won’t count down the days until one is gone. I won’t call them bad names. Yeah, it drives me nuts when people do, but whatever, that is their right. I just think it’s silly. I remember people doing it to Clinton, and I see people doing it now to Bush. I’m sure it will continue as long as cafepress can pump out the bumper stickers. You just won’t see one on my car.

I will: laugh at things they say wrong, SNL/Daily Show/Colbert/etc skits about them (because damn it, they’re hilarious), and if I disagree, I will disagree respectfully.

I do, however, reserve the right to laugh at any and all jokes about people who are still candidates and haven’t made it to office yet.

Pregnancy dreams

Ever have one of those dreams that is SO real that when you actually wake up you don’t know the difference between the dream and reality?

I had one this morning. I was pregnant and I just “knew” that I was. Not far along or anything, just enough to feel an almost non-existent bump where there wasn’t one before. I woke up with my hand on my belly and was thinking about where the closest place would be to go get a pregnancy test and how ohmygodI’llhavetogobacktotheVAthatcan’tbegoodforthebaby. I was in a bit of a panic.

Then a cat jumped up on my head and I was brought back to reality.

Depressing.

I just printed out everything for one of my grad school classes. I wanted to cry. I don't want to do it. I hate it. HATE. Oh, and the class? It's taught by my advisor.

So I guess I'm not changing my major since no one will communicate with me.

I'm still hoping king douchebag my advisor will tell me something that will make this not feel like such a waste of time.

It must be open letter day.

Dear little bastards on Farmdale Road,

It’s really fucking rude to launch an iceball at a moving vehicle in the dark. In the middle of nothing. On icy roads. I thought the freaking chupacabra had launched itself at my driver’s side window and it scared the shit out of me. I bet you would have felt pretty bad if I had swerved into a ditch and died on that icy road. Right in front of your little punk asses.

I hope the next car you did that to had the good sense to stop and chase you down until you pissed your little britches.

GFY’s,

J.

I'm pretty sure my advisor is ignoring me

Dear Advisor,

I wrote you an email 10 days ago with some questions about changing my major and I’ve gotten no response. You’ve sent emails and posted other things to our class website since then, so I know you’re around. It wasn’t even a difficult question - pretty much “yes” or “no”. So WTF?

I know you aren’t my biggest fan, since I’m the only one that ever has an opinion on anything, and I’m not a big fan of yours either, but that doesn’t make you any less my advisor. Just answer the damn question already.

Or are you mad that I’m not enjoying your “baby”? Yes, I realize that you developed this program and are the head of it and pretty much “the man” when it comes to anything related to it. But guess what? It’s not for everyone. It’s not for me. I pretty much hate it and feel like it’s useless to me, to be honest. Which brings me to the second email I wrote you 2 days ago…are you going to answer that one? I’m not complaining about you ignoring that one yet, but I wonder if you will even be able to tell me WTF I can do differently after I have it. As far as I can tell, I will still only be able to be an athletic trainer with nothing to fall back on or use otherwise. That is really unappealing and furthers my opinion that this is a waste of time.

Sincerely,

J.

So about yesterday...

On Thursday mornings I work at a physical therapy clinic. I love the people there, but I'm not a fan of the job itself. It was great at the beginning when I just really really needed money (not that I don't still need the money), but now it has lost its luster. Actually I'm pretty sure I've lost my luster to them too, but I don't think either of us will be the one that ends it.

Anyway, I digress.

This PT clinic is in the same place that my athletic training job is at, but on Thursdays I have a 2.5 hour gap of time between jobs. I recently discovered that there is a Hobby Lobby not too far from the town I work in, so I decided to make that drive to kill my 2.5 hours yesterday and look for some wedding craft stuff. Let me tell you - I LOVE Hobby Lobby. They have a ton of stuff and it's all on sale ALL THE TIME. I don't know where we will end up buying a house someday, but I guarantee that it MUST have a Hobby Lobby nearby. I have already imagined the endless decorating possibilities.

Anyway, I'm planning on having candles galore at the wedding, and I have several people who will be giving me theirs leftover from their weddings. That didn't stop me from buying four 12 packs of votives in holders and some brown and wine ribbon to glue on to them. You'd think I got tired of gluing ribbons on votives for Cassie's wedding back in May, but really I didn't mind, and I thought it looked great. So I'm going to do it too. [Note to the readers who offered me their candles: No worries, I still want those too!]

Here is what I got:



Call me cheesy, but I also bought some little charms with the first initial of each of my bridesmaids to tie into the handles of their bouquets. Shut up - they were 50 cents each.

So as I was driving though the parking lot to try Panera for the first time, a Dollar Tree caught my eye and I got a brilliant idea. I'm sure I'm not the first one to ever come up with this, but I've never seen it (you'll see). So...I went inside and sure enough they had 10 of exactly what I was looking for AND in dark brown. For $1 each. Of COURSE I took a picture.



Ok so let me interpret. The top part is going to be the table number. Yes, I'm having table numbers and yes, I know it is a backyard. Call me a control freak, but I want to guarantee that our families are in the front, that certain parents don't end up at tables together, that there isn't one random seat left at each table (maximizing our use of a small space), and that people are sitting with people they might have something in common with or will be more comfortable around. So there.

The middle space is going to be what tasty delicious beverages will be available at the bar (that we will now be having thanks to Are We There Yet? and On A Brighter Note), both alcoholic and non. There is going to be a cocktail hour while the food is getting set up, so this will keep people busy for a little bit. It will also give people something to read and daydream about while they are busy ignoring our ceremony.

The bottom section will be the menu. Also something for people to read and daydream about during the ceremony. We're pretty much only having one meal option and a buffet. If people don't like something, they can get more of something else. If they don't like any of it, I'm sorry, but the McD's is right up the street. Don't worry, I'm not heartless. I will find out if anyone has any dietary restrictions or allergies and try to accomodate them.

Anyway, great, cheap idea right? I know. I thought so too.

I also ate at Panera Bread for the first time yesterday. I had the chipotle chicken sandwich and it was amazing. I want one right now.

On to the next thing.

Krista recently introduced me to Google Reader. I'm in love. It's easy. ITID explained a reader and feeds to us awhile back, but I forgot about it. It sounded like too much work. Now, instead of clicking on each blog on my blogroll to see if there is anything new, I just click on google reader and it has all my new stuff right there. It's awesome. Use it. OH! And if you have a BlackBerry, you can get google reader on there too, so when you're bored, you can easily read the new blogs from the BlackBerry. I did this last night during the what should have been a really boring swim meet (I'll get to that in a bit). Then I started reading Bright Lights Big Ass, which is Jen Lancaster's follow up to Bitter is the New Black. I love her books. I think I'm going to like this one better than Bitter because she's already been brought down to reality and is just like the rest of us. I mean c'mon...her holy shopping trinity is Target, Trader Joes, and Ikea. We might almost be the same person...but then again I think everyone I know feels the same way.

And on to the swim meet - since I know that is what you wall wanted to hear about the most. It's nothing outrageous, but it sucks nonetheless. Usually during swim meets, I hang out in the training room and stare at the walls for 2-3 hours. I can't stand it in the pool area because it's a million degrees and loud as hell. Plus, there is a nurse that works the scoreboard at every meet and a couple lifeguards, so by the time something gets to me, it's gotta be pretty ugly. For obvious HIPAA reasons, I have to leave some stuff out.

Ok, so someone comes running in to get me to tell me that Swimmer is cut his hand and is bleeding all over and it won't stop. I run in there. This kid (who is an amazing swimmer and coincidentally disabled) is standing there with a huge cloth over his hand. I put my gloves on and take the cloth away and ohholygodthisisfrickensweet the kid has a huge gash at between his index and middle finger where the skin webs. That area is all basically a loose skin. I could see down to the muscle. I felt bad for the kid because he was really fired up for this meet...but I need to send him for stitches. Like now. Here is how the next 15 seconds went:

Me: "Is your mom here?" (as I'm wrapping up his wound)

Swimmer: "Yeah."

[Mom has already been called over via the speaker.]

Mom doesn't see us and walks right by. Swimmer calls out "MOM! Back here!"

Mom spins around and slips on the wet tile and falls harder than I've ever seen anyone fall. She has almost obviously just broken her wrist. Right in front of me.

Swimmer: "OH MY GOD!!! MOM!!!"

Me: "Is your dad here?"

Swimmer: "Yes, thank God."

And then I checked out mom and got her splinted up and watched her for shock while the swimmer got dressed and dad went and brought the car around. It was not a good night for their family. I hope they are all alright.

That was more action during 60 seconds than I've seen with the rest of the boys or girls swim seasons combined.

I guess you could say it was a productive day

I sat down to write this right after I took tonight’s trazzy-treat and got distracted and now I’m way too fuzzy to write anything. I’ll write it tomorrow, not that you are all dying to hear every detail of my day or anything.

Let’s see if I can remember what I was going to write about…

Panera, Hobby Lobby, my sweet wedding related idea and purchase from the dollar store, tonight’s swim meet chaos, google reader, Bright Lights Big Ass…

And I’m spent.

Trip to Dr. Dumb

I can't stand my doctor, but at least I finally saw her today.

She gave me Trazodone. It's also an anti-depressant, but it is commonly used for sleep disturbances. And fibromyalgia. Which, along with chronic fatigue syndrome, she doesn't think exists. I believe her exact words were "Bullshit."

Classy.

She also felt the need to tell me things like make sure I don't watch tv in bed, keep the room dark, don't think about stuff when I'm laying in bed, don't drink caffiene past 3 or 4 pm, and on and on and on and on. I kept telling her that I know all of that stuff and I have been following all the rules of "sleep hygiene" and blah blah blah and she insisted on listing them off to me again. Because I'm clearly as big of a moron as I feel like she is.

Oh yeah...and I wrote out most of (if not more than) the things she told me BACK IN JULY, before I ever even met her worthless ass. No, not worthless - she can prescribe...I can't. Drugs are good sometimes.

Seriously, I wish I had a recording of the conversation, because based on everything she said to me today, I could be a doctor. I already knew all the things she tried to tell me about the various things we talked about, AND I can read notes off a computer screen.

The only good thing that came out of this was her convincing me that yoga would be really good for me. I don't know when or where I am supposed to find the money to go to yoga classes. Anyone recommend a good video? Good classes that aren't too spendy somewhere? I think I'd like it a lot and that it would help. I need to focus. I need to relax. I need to de-stress. I need to work on a lot of things. Yoga is good for this.

So anyway, I'm ok with the trazedone for now, especially since not sleeping and brought on more anxiety and depression than I'd like to admit. I was hesitant to put this all "out there", you know - in the blogosphere. You never know who is lurking (or in some cases you do and just don't give a shit), but I feel better when I put stuff out there, so whatever. This is me.

PS...I apologize for using the wikipedia page for Trazodone...it was the first one that came up. Just remember kids that wikipedia is rarely a valid source of information.

PPS...How funny is it that one of the potential behavioral side effects is uncontrollable laughter?

PPPS...And sex drive increase.

"Pepsi is worth 2 dollars."

This is what Corey said to me at 2:30 this morning. He was talking in his sleep. I, as usual, was laying there awake.

He was sleeping on his stomach and all of a sudden lifted his head up and started speaking some big jibberish word that started with a “P” over and over and laughing (which of course was making me laugh). I looked at him and said “What the hell are you saying?” and he repeated it and laughed again with a big sigh after. It still made no sense. I asked him what he was saying again and he laughed and sighed again but didn’t repeat and put his head back down.

Still laughing, I spoke up a little louder. “Hey, what did you just say? You have to talk slower!”

He raised his head again and said “Pepsi is worth 2 dollars.” laughed and sighed again, and went back to sleep.

Insomnia has its perks.

You win some, you lose some

:::sigh:::

Who am I kidding? That game sucked.

For those of you on the hypothetical short bus, I'm referring to the NFC championship game between the Packers and the Giants. Was it the Sports Illustrated curse? I'm going to go with no. There is no way a cover this cool could be the cause of something so bad.



So now the next time we watch the Packers play, we'll be an old married couple. Sweet.

Anyway...

The last couple days of our lives have been pretty eventful by our standards. Target had a big scratching post on sale, and my cats of have desperate for something to climb and claw on. Let me tell you - the entertainment this thing has provided for the humans of the house has made it worth every penny. Especially with the addition of catnip. [Please disregard the strange timing of the commercial containing unattractive men in a sauna. Yes, my Christmas cards are still stuck to the walls.]



Zoey's ass is clearly too big for the top level of this thing, but that definitely does not stop her from trying to squeeze in every ounce of cat that she possibly can. As soon as she falls asleep, limbs start hanging.



In other news, a tree fell on my dad's car this morning. He's fine - he was inside, but he heard it happen. Neighborhood drama has ensued. Apparently the lady who is the proud owner of the tree has previously been informed by the city that it was unsafe. I guess the roof of the car is smashed in. He only has liability insurance on it, but it is starting to sound like the neighbor lady might be buying his next car anyway. We'll see what happens.





I have a new, slightly materialistic object of my affection. It's a BlackBerry Pearl, and we're in love.



Now, when I'm bored and sitting on my ass at work finished with my grad school homework and getting fantastical grades, I can use my email, read blogs, espn, talk to people on messenger, check facebook, and all kinds of other stuff. I can even use it to connect my laptop to the internet, but I haven't gotten that far yet. I can sync it with google calendar and use it as a planner which I also love. I am still learning how to do a lot of stuff on it, but the things I can do already make me squeal with delight :)

Did I mention I got it for FREE? A guy my mom works with had an extra one. Just laying around. It's good to have a mom that works for a wireless company.

Here is a picture I took with it earlier of one of my apartment complex's snow plows not doing jack shit as usual. I hate that they have 3 of these things and don't know how to use them. I will undoubtedly be unable to get out of the parking lot to get to work tomorrow. taking a well deserved break.



I left work an hour early today - hopefully nobody noticed. If they did, my defense is that if I was going to slide into a ditch on my way home, I wanted it to be during daylight so I could see what was coming. I made it, but right now we've got about 8 inches of snow for today and it isn't supposed to let up until sometime tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, I'm going to go take a bath in an attempt to get sleepy while Corey watches this super depressing Life After People show on the History Channel. The graphics on this show have been cool, but not cool enough for me to watch simulations of house pets going wild or starving to death among many, many other debbie-downer earth population = ZERO things.

Was that a joke?

$23 a piece to rent your basic “budget” tablecloths? HELL to the NO.

Sorry Mr. Dude at BBJ Linen. That is SO not happening.

2:32 am

I went to bed approximately 2 hours ago. I tossed. I turned. And then I went through some bizarre version of the 5 stages of grief before I accepted the fact that it wasn't going to happen and came on here.

Tomorrow I will be working about a 12 hour day, give or take. My alarm is going off in 4 hours.

Spec-fucking-tacular.

As usual, there is a someecard for everything.

Packers kitteh

Seeing this picture of Britta's cat Samwise inspired me to post this picture of Jezebel cuddled up on a similar Packers blanket. Yes, she wants to lay there so badly that her butt on a huge incline. Good cheesehead kitteh!



This reminds me that I never posted the picture of her that I submitted to the I Can Has Cheezburger site. If you have anything resembling a sense of humor and like funny animal pictures you have to start frequenting that website. Anyway...I had this picture posted on my facebook and a friend left that caption as a comment. I thought it was funny.

It's getting better all the time

The Packers won!

The Giants beat the Cowboys! In case you aren't aware, this is glorious because instead of the Packers playing the Cowboys (who they lost to this year) in Dallas, they get to play the Giants (who they beat this year) AT LAMBEAU for the NFC Championship, and then move on to the Superbowl. See? Good news! :)

Corey finally smoked his last cigarette. I'm two weeks ahead of him, and completely over it. Remember back when I was really cranky and annoyed? That is where he is right now. It's not pleasant...but at the same time it is kind of entertaining to mock him a little since he did it to me. Before you start thinking I'm a terrible, non-encouraging person...I have been very supportive the rest of the time, it's just not as fun to talk about. Hopefully he has as easy of a go at it as I did. If you had asked me 2 weeks ago if I thought I'd be successful 2 weeks later, I would have said no.

The newest love of my life (that I haven't met yet) is the sofa and loveseat I am buying from a friend. You see, we had to ditch our couch in Fresno because bringing it wasn't worth the extra $200 we would have had to pay for more space in the moving truck. Since June our livingroom furniture has consisted of a papasan chair and an uncomfortable chair that matched our old couch. Corey and I can't even sit together at home.

I've been looking on craigslist, but in the end I just would never again be able to bring myself to buy a couch with an unknown history of ass on it. I had a few of those in the army - scaaaaaaaaaaaary. I won't even get into the unidentifiable stains and smells on the couches that got passed around the barracks. I bet I could walk into our old barracks in Germany right now, 6 years later, and find at least 3 familiar couches that I owned at some point. Anyway...this sofa and loveseat are coming from someone I know - someone who is clean and doesn't have shifty eyes, so I feel safe! It is also rumored to be among the most comfortable couches in the world. Can you tell how excited I am?

It's the simple things. Here is the sofa :)



We're totally going to snuggle on it.

In other, not so happy news...I suck at wedding planning. You'd think I'd have a shitload of practice at it by now, right? No. I'm so glad I can't go back in time and see what a trashtastic job I did of things the first 2 times. It's almost as though I've never even thought about having a wedding before in my entire life. Yes, it's that bad.

I was informed today that the wedding is 200 days away. I'm sure that is not helping my mentality of it. It sounds like a lot of time, but at the same time, it's not. Once school starts again in 2 weeks, I'm not going to have time to get anything done. I have the time now, but I'm having a permanent brain fart. Woe is me.

It's time for THE GAME!

Packers vs. Seahawks.

I’m ready.

Contact!

And I missed the freaking call.

The VA finally called me back - to tell me that they will call me back. Apparently my doc is not there very often and they are waiting for the doctor to make a decision on what to do next since my sleep study was normal. WHAT?!?! Normal?

1. 
   
   Shouldn't I be involved in my medical decisions? Guess not.
   
   


2. 
   
   What is it about 3 minutes of REM sleep in a night that is normal? Someone please enlighten me.
   
   

Then, apparently, she will call me to set up an appointment. Good thing I already have one scheduled. For May. Grr.

In other news...

I got my winter back - just in time to drive through the country on the way home from work. The snow was coming down so hard that I really didn't have much of an idea what was in front of me or where I was going. I love the snow - hate driving in it. The roads out there were slick so of course I had another moment where I thought for sure I was a goner. At least it wasn't across 3 lanes of traffic this time.

Anyway, after dinner Corey and I decided go outside and build the biggest snowman we could possibly maneuver since the snow was so sticky. We dug out some pieces to old Halloween costumes, so he looks like a big pirate polar-bear sort of thing.











He's got a pirate wig, a pirate hat, vampire teeth, rocks for eyes and nose, and a scarf that is too small for him.

Just give me a shovel

Because that is how I’m eating now that I’m a non-smoker. No wonder everyone bitches about gaining weight when they quit. Smoking was keeping us all from shoveling mountains of other shit through our lips.

I gained 3 lbs over Christmas, and then it was gone almost as fast as it came. Now I’m back up - higher than I was before I started keeping track of food and exercise on sparkpeople. People with sleep disorders have a hard enough time losing weight (basically, REM sleep is an important part of metabolism). While I was smoking I was at least holding fairly steady. The combination of quitting and crappy sleep is sending me in a direction I don’t want to go. I have a wedding dress to fit into for crying out loud. Don’t worry - I’m not going to smoke again. That would be lame.

I’ve lost track of my calls to the VA to try to get appointments. I sort of want to cry, but not as much as I want to sleep.

What the hell?

Something like 4 days ago, it was 9 degrees. Today, it was 63. Huh?!?

I knew it was supposed to warm up from the weather report a few days ago, and I was really annoyed by it. Until I actually saw it today on my way to work. It was a crazy scene. It's warm enough that the only snow that is really left is the stuff that is packed and stacked on the sides of the roads from the plows. There was pouring rain, there was thunder, there was lightning, and there was massive steam coming up from the snow. Most of this was happening at once, which seems kind of impossible.

Then, because that stuff wasn't enough - tornadoes touched down in Kenosha! Luckily the few people I know that live down there and their belongings are totally safe. Scary!



Actually I don't hope it stays like it was today. I just need to further prove that there is a some-e-card for everything. I want my Wisconsin winter back. I love it.

Tonight after work I headed down to a friend's house in Bayview for a book club meeting / surprise bridal shower for a friend (also one of our wedding photographers) who is getting married in just under a month. We had a great time and she was very surprised! I didn't have my camera this time, but I know that several pictures were taken, so I'm sure they will show up somewhere at some point.

Yesterday I also met a bunch of friends (formerly known as iFriends - but we're all way past that) for lunch. As usual, it was a great time - laughing until our cheeks hurt, storytelling, chit-chat about daily life - you name it! I'm so happy that I've met such a great group of women since I moved here. I probably say that a lot, but I mean it.



I'm still not smoking, and I'm still totally amazed at how easy it was for me. No, I take that back. Not "easy", but definitely FAST. I was expecting this to take several weeks and be a major pain in my ass. Instead it was 7 days. Less than 7 days, really. Yay me!

Anyway, I'm off to bed. Tomorrow I will make my 4th attempt at getting an appointment at the VA. I will also be looking in to Corey's medical insurance to see if it has any coverage for domestic partnerships and what falls under that category by their standards. We'll see, but I don't have my hopes up.

I'm over it.

Thanks for all the comments and encouragement everyone!

I actually don’t feel like I need any medication or counseling or any of that for it. Yeah, sometimes I crave one, but I’m much too much of a realist. I know that the reality of having one will not be as good as it is in my head, so I feel like I’m pretty much over it. I know my logic is a little flawed, but I feel like getting extra help at this point would just be kind of weak, unnecessary, and not my style.

Between the one that made me sick and smelling it on Corey once in awhile it pretty much just grosses me out.

Oh, and the car stinks.

I caved.

Uuuuuuuughhhhhhhhh. I had a cig. And now I feel disgusting. And guilty.

More than anything I feel like throwing up. I think my mission to become a non-smoker has been successful.

I still don't smoke...but I still don't sleep

4 days down. Still holding steady. Thank you to everyone who has helped give me encouragement and moral support in my comments and emails and facebook. I appreciate it!

I’ve caught myself subconsciously getting up to go have one and then it hits me…where am I going? The physical craving is lessening - my brain doesn’t feel like it’s on fire anymore and I’m clenching my jaw less. I’m also not as cranky and I smell goooooooooooood. Corey kissed me when he came in from having one and it kind of grossed me out. That’s a good sign, no?

Anyway.

Last night I was awake until 5 am. WTF!!!

I’ve called and left messages with the nurse in my clinic at the VA - TWICE - to have her call me back and set up an appointment. Has that happened? No. Is there some kind of VA policy that you have to try to make an appointment 7 times before you can actually talk to someone and get one? Assholes. I hope the VA isn’t an example of what socialized medicine would be like in America. For everyone’s sake.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m grateful that I have it, but damn…it’s never been there when I need it the most.

Oh, I almost forgot this part. After I left my second message, I tried to another route and went through central scheduling. The conversation went something like this:

Operator: “Blah Blah VA blah blah blah, can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a veteran and a patient there. I have had a lot of sleep issues and recently had a sleep study and need to schedule an appointment with Dr. _______ to go over my results and come up with a plan to fix it.”

Operator: “What is your last name and last 4 of your social security number?”

Me: “[Last Name], [1234]“

Operator: “Oh. Ok, well you already have an appointment scheduled for May. Do you need help with anything else?”

Me: “I - ” (pause) “I am not waiting until May to sleep.”

Operator: “Oh. So you need an appointment sooner?”

Me: “Yes.” [Did you not hear one fucking word I said?]

Operator: “Oh. Well let me transfer you to her nurse.”

I hung up.

Still not smoking.

It's been 55 hours. 17 hours until it's supposedly out of my system. I'm relying heavily on this getting easier after that.



This is HARD. I was so cranky last night. I'm talking full raging bitch mode. Corey did something that was meant to be cute and all I could do was turn and look at him and say "I. would. NOT. fuck. with. me. right. now."

Yes, I immediately felt awful for responding that way, but at least he laughed when I said it in the first place.

PS. Dear grandparents, aunts and uncles who read my blog - I apologize for the foul language that shows up in my posts, but it is usually necessary to accurately portray my exact thoughts and feelings on certain topics. Yes, if I was younger I would fully expect you to wash my mouth out with soap. Love ya! :)

Here I am. Not smoking.

My last cigarette was January 1st, 2008, at approximately 4:30 am. A friend has informed me that it takes 72 hours to get the nicotine out of your body. In a little over 3 hours I'll be halfway there.

Corey is outside smoking. Right. Now.

Jerk.

Originally, I was going to quit when I started trying to get pregnant. Then, I was going to quit when I got down to 155 lbs (10 lbs from where I started). Yes, I just posted my weight for the world to see. I don't care. Anyway, then we were both going to quit once we finished what we had because starting yesterday, the price of cigs went up $1 per pack. WTF? Good idea Wisconsin. You are going to save some lives, and you are going to make some people realize how much willpower they lack and make some extra $$ for the people who couldn't hack it.

Well, when I woke up yesterday I felt like shit from Corey and I drinking every last drop of alcoholic beverage in the house celebrating the end of another year. Since I did feel well I thought I'd try to make it through the day. I did.

So that's the story. And here I am. Still not smoking.

Happy New Year!

I feel like crap. We didn't leave the house but that didn't stop us from consuming any and every alcohol filled beverage in the place. Other than my run to McD's for a hangover cure and side of fries, we haven't moved all day. Nothing but pajamas, football, and the internets all day long.

Speaking of football, it was great to watch Fresno State win the Roady's Humanitarian Bowl over Georgia Tech (40-28) yesterday. It wasn't a cool big name bowl game or anything but hey, it was still a bowl game and I still got to see a sea of familiar Fresno faces all over ESPN2. Also in football...how great was it watching the Pack run over the Lions? I don't know about you but I thought it was fantastic. My joy over another Packers' win was followed closely by the Cowboys' and Vikings' losses. It was a good week for football in our house. Wisconsin lost today so Corey is a little bummed, but I have no real tie to UW and can't honestly say that I care much. Sorry.

Anyway, back to New Year's. Here are some pictures displaying just how classy our last moments of 2007 were.

We started the evening by watching Ocean's Thirteen which was unexpectedly good and funny. Then Corey cooked up baked potatoes and some steaks on our spankin new George Foreman grill. That thing is seriously awesome. We should have bought one (or put one on our Christmas list) years ago. The steaks were perfect and juicy and done very fast. I can't wait to try it with some other stuff! I took a picture of it because it looked so delicious but I don't want to gross out the vegetarians that read my blog.

[You know you are a grown-up when small kitchen appliances are THIS exciting. We also got a coffee maker for Christmas that became the first object of my affection.]

After dinner we were salivating for some champagne already so we popped open a bottle and played Trivial Pursuit. I lost this time. Stupid brown category.



Before we knew it, it was getting close to midnight and time to open another bottle of champagne. As you can see i don't like to waste any of the first bottle.



Second goofy smooch of the New Year :) What, you think I'd ruin the moment of the first one by taking a picture?



Since Christmas was a week ago already, I'll post pictures instead of writing much about it. We had a nice, lazy relaxing time in Madison and received a lot of great gifts from our families including the glorious George Foreman grill, coffee maker, a featherbed (so comfy), and lots of other stuff that excites us like gift cards, kitchen stuff, a cookbook, and coffee (which only excites me).

We also played games, watched movies, went bowling, consumed more alcohol and food than anyone should be able to take in in the span of a week, and built a snowman I didn't gain the expected 7 lbs on average - only 3. Luckily 2 of those pounds have already moved on to greener pastures (aka Not My Ass). I also bought myself some sweet new shoes.