January 5, 2008

I still don't smoke...but I still don't sleep

4 days down. Still holding steady. Thank you to everyone who has helped give me encouragement and moral support in my comments and emails and facebook. I appreciate it!

I’ve caught myself subconsciously getting up to go have one and then it hits me…where am I going? The physical craving is lessening - my brain doesn’t feel like it’s on fire anymore and I’m clenching my jaw less. I’m also not as cranky and I smell goooooooooooood. Corey kissed me when he came in from having one and it kind of grossed me out. That’s a good sign, no?

Anyway.

Last night I was awake until 5 am. WTF!!!

I’ve called and left messages with the nurse in my clinic at the VA - TWICE - to have her call me back and set up an appointment. Has that happened? No. Is there some kind of VA policy that you have to try to make an appointment 7 times before you can actually talk to someone and get one? Assholes. I hope the VA isn’t an example of what socialized medicine would be like in America. For everyone’s sake.

Don’t get me wrong - I’m grateful that I have it, but damn…it’s never been there when I need it the most.

Oh, I almost forgot this part. After I left my second message, I tried to another route and went through central scheduling. The conversation went something like this:

Operator: “Blah Blah VA blah blah blah, can I help you?”

Me: “Yes, I’m a veteran and a patient there. I have had a lot of sleep issues and recently had a sleep study and need to schedule an appointment with Dr. _______ to go over my results and come up with a plan to fix it.”

Operator: “What is your last name and last 4 of your social security number?”

Me: “[Last Name], [1234]“

Operator: “Oh. Ok, well you already have an appointment scheduled for May. Do you need help with anything else?”

Me: “I - ” (pause) “I am not waiting until May to sleep.”

Operator: “Oh. So you need an appointment sooner?”

Me: “Yes.” [Did you not hear one fucking word I said?]

Operator: “Oh. Well let me transfer you to her nurse.”

I hung up.

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