40/365. Golden Paw

Zoey has the most bizarre markings. On her back, she's a short-haired tortie. On her stomach, she's got long hair and calico markings. One of her back paws is completely black, and her front left is orange tabby.

And here is a bonus shot of Corey chipping away at today's snowpocalypse in our driveway:

Travel Disasters: 2008 Holiday Edition...or 36 Hours at Grandmas....or Portland Tales: Things I Couldn't Make Up If I Tried

Several possible titles here.  I'm indecisive.

(Sorry about the formatting problems - I tried to fix it to no avail)

Some of you may remember our trip to the west coast for Christmas.  Originally, we were flying from Milwaukee (MKE) to Minneapolis, than Minneapolis (MSP) to San Diego (SAN).  Well...before we got on the flight in MKE, they told us that MSP was shut down.  That flight was supposed to continue on to Portland (PDX), so they decided to just make the flight from MKE to PDX and allow anyone affected to get on that flight and then catch a flight to their final destination from there. 

The prospect of spending a few hours in Portland and maybe at least being able to have dinner with my dad (who I hadn't seen in 3 years) was exciting!  I also knew there was a storm coming to Milwaukee so waiting for a flight that might be cancelled the next day wasn't sounding appealing - I figured we'd never even make it to the west coast!  I knew Portland was having some weather too, but I figured if we were going to get stuck somewhere, lets get stuck with my family! Right?!?!

By the time we got there, we knew that we couldn't get a flight until the next day, so my dad would be picking us up and we'd all go stay the night at my grandma's.  Of course my luggage was no where to be found.  When I told Corey the night before how much it costs to check baggage, his response was "F**k that, I'll pack it all in my backpack."  There was no way I could pack a weeks worth of my crap in a carry-on so I opted to pay the $15 to check a suitcase.  Whoops.  There's a mistake I may never make again.

ANYWAY.

It was AWESOME to see my dad, and so nice to finally meet his girlfriend.  It's been a long time since he and another person have been able to stand each other's crap for a significant length of time.  After a long, obnoxious attempt and figuring out where my luggage might be (they had no idea - everything was chaos), we headed off to grandma's house.

Portland (all of the northwest actually) was having it's own share of weather.  Weather it was NOT prepared for.  Yes, a foot of snow sucks everywhere and slows things down...but in Portland...it STOPS.  Hell, it stops with much less than that.  They don't have many plows there and very few people know how to drive in it.  Everyone drives in the snow with chains on.  I remember when I moved to Wisconsin, I asked Corey if we needed to buy chains for our cars.  He looked at me like I was nuts.  Now...I understand why.

A road would never look like this for more than a day (maybe even a half-day) in Wisconsin.  This road stayed like this for several days.

Anyway, I digress.

I knew that being snowed in at my grandma's house with my dad, grandma, 2 druncles (drunk-uncles...we'll call them J and R), and druncle J's girlfriend and her best friend (we'll call them JK & T)would leave very few dull moments.  We ended up being there from Saturday night until Monday morning.  My dad spent the weekend cheering on the crappy weather, while my mom in San Diego spent it with her heart breaking a little with each cancelled flight.  That made me feel a little awkward.

I know I've forgotten some of the stories I had planned and things I was going to mention but I'll do my best.  Pardon the randomness.

You would not believe the sheer amount of alcohol my druncles and the girls can put down.  My dad doesn't drink very often or in large quantities anymore, but he did over this particular weekend.  Why, you ask?  Not because it was there or available.  Not because it was a party or a special occasion (although those are valid reasons).  Not because he has a problem (he doesn't).  No...my dad had to drink like that because that is the only way he can tolerate all of druncle J & R's (and JK & T's) crap and sheer ridiculousness.  It's a simple, sad, fact.  And trust me...Corey and I felt the pain (aka - irritation, annoyance, and rapidly declining patience) from not trying to keep up with the drunk-Joneses. 

Let's display some obvious intoxication in photos, shall we?

 

So now that we've proven that...

Not long after this picture was taken, druncle J got up and went downstairs.  I was sitting on the couch next to my grandma (sorta like this):

After druncle J left, I saw that his pipe had fallen out of his pocket and was left on the chair.  I pretended not to notice so as not to draw my grandma's attention to it (I'm a good niece, no?).   Druncle R then came upstairs to warm up by the fire.  He notices what druncle J left behind...but of course has to mention it.  "Hey, look what J forgot!"  Grandma: "Whose keys are those?" (long pause as druncle R and I snicker like mischievious bratty little kids) "Well...!  Is that a PIPE?!?!  R, you march that pipe down to J and tell him that if I see it again I'm going to SHOVE IT UP HIS ASS!!!"

Now...my grandma just doesn't talk like that, making it extra hilarious.  Druncle R started to do as he told, but the prospect of being the one to relay this information to druncle J was much too much to pass up.  I told him, "allow me." and took it on down there.  The laughter from downstairs carried right back up to the livingroom. 

The following night, druncle R, my dad, and the neighbor were out in the back yard to check it out since it had momentarily stopped snowing.  My grandma has a pool in the backyard.  Druncle R went and stood on the deep end and was trying to clear the snow off of the frozen ice because apparently there was a nerf football frozen in the ice down there and it was superduperimportant that he find it and show them right then.  Meanwhile, the neighbor is having a smoke (of the legal variety) and my dad is standing down at the shallow end watching druncle R stand on the ice.  Dad thinks to himself, "Hmm...R is standing on it down there..." and takes one step on to the ice.  It feels solid enough.  So he brought the other foot on...

WHOOOSH!

It was like a trap door opened up underneath him.

"Uhh...guys...a little help here?"  My dad had just fallen through a pool up to his chest and druncle R and the neighbor didn't hear or see it!  They heard something faint, but it really didn't make much noise.

So what does druncle R do?  He runs over to my dad.  Correction:  he runs ACROSS THE FROZEN POOL THAT CRACKED to help yank him out.  SMART.

Luckily, he didn't fall in.  This story would have been 1000 times funnier if he had.  In this photo (obviously taken after the fact) you can see the hole my dad fell in AND the footsteps going across the pool. 

Apparently the 50 lbs and 12 inch differences between the two of them is juuuust enough to keep one out of the pool and not the other.  Here he is drying off and warming up by the fire.

Later that same night, druncle J called up a friend he used to work with that was now delivering pizza to see if they were open that night.  Yes, they were, but they'd have to order soon.  Druncle J orders the pizza, pizza guy/friend shows up with his wife that he picked up on the way.  Interesting.  Anyway, so they stay and chat for awhile and when they go to leave...they can't.  His Ford F150 (or something similar) was stuck in the snow in front of the house.  Druncles go out to help and grandma and I start watching the idiotic show from the window.  Dad and Corey don't give a sh*t and are watching TV.  The pizza guy is out there burning out his tires in the snow like a moron. 

After about 10 loooong minutes, the show starts getting old.  I tell my dad and Corey (the only people with braun AND brains in the whole bunch) that they should probably get out there and help.  Dad gets up to put shoes on, and Corey walks out the door. I follow behind, stopping to grab my camera on the way out.  Apparently those extra few seconds I took were too long, because by the time I got out there...

...Corey had already gotten the guy out of the driver's seat, gotten the truck out, and was on his way back in.  All Wisconsin style and sh*t!  I was very proud. 

Everyone else was stunned.  What they couldn't accomplish in 10 minutes was done by Corey in seconds.  My dad came outside and my druncles were looking around and at the same time all of them said, "Where'd Corey go?"  I told them he was already in the house on the couch watching tv.  Druncles and company where stunned and impressed.  Dad just laughed and laughed and said, "That's how it's done, boys."  Classic.

Now let's meet Nilo. 

Nilo is a perfectly nice normal cat...until you pet him.  Because for the love of God...if you pet Nilo "wrong"...

...you are in for a world of hurt. 

After dealing with this occasionally batsh*t crazy cat too many times to count, my reflexes took over.

I was sitting with my dad, glass of water in my left hand, right hand hanging over, when Nilo decided to rub himself on my right hand.  At first I didn't trust him, but he seemed ok...until all of a sudden he snapped.  In one fluid motion, my left hand shot out and dumped a half full glass of water in his face.  It tok me a minute to even realize what I had done.  Hell, it took NILO a minute to even realize what I'd done.  He gave me the funniest most shocked look I've ever seen on a cat (as far as feline expressions go, anyway), before he took off and never came near me again.  I wish I had a picture of it, but it sort of resembled this:

That's pretty much all I can remember.  Like I said before, I hadn't been to Portland in 3 years (and haven't lived there since 1995), so I had managed to conveniently forget that I have one of those touchy feely family that kisses hello and goodbye on the lips, holds hands, and is just kind of cuddly in general.  I've joked about this with people before, but at THEIR families expense...completely forgetting that I had one of my own.  Karma maybe? Who knows.  Up until the end of our time there, I just kind of sucked it up (for lack of a better term) and went with the flow, but it was so foreign to me that I had to say something.  Of course feelings were a little hurt, which in turn made me feel like a jerk.  In the end I agreed to not be a total frigid b*tch, as long as they could understand how awkward it was to sit across the room from my husband but holding someone elses hand or have someone elses arm around me. 

The art of compromise is weird sometimes.

Anyway, we finally made to to San Diego on Monday night after countless flight changes and delays.  Here is a pic of the beautiful sunset over Catalina Island as we were decending...

I promise my next installment will be shorter, but maybe a little heavier on pictures.  I've still got San Diego and Christmas to write about!

Baby, it's cold outside...

I am currently wishing that I had waited until after The Big Scary Alberta Clipper to see our $376 WE energies bill.  You see, *I'm* the one responsible for the electric bill (even though I'm NOT the one that is always cold) and in my opinion, spending almost 1/2 of my meager monthly pay on the heating bill is pretty fucking unacceptable.  But...so is asking my husband who pays the rent (and doesn't exactly make a lot more than I do) to pay for half. 

So...the thermostat is set at 60 (I even had to argue to get it there and 60 isn't even that cold) we are piled under large piles of grandma's quilts.  It's not all that bad really, except the part where my feet are always freezing.  The rest is fine. 

I need to remind you that I'm not the one who grew up in Wisconsin, but I seem to be 100x more acclimated.  I even sleep in a tank top and shorts with no socks on while my husband the human oven is wrapped up in socks and long johns.  Even the cat has to be under all of the blankets. 

Anyway, I started this post with a purpose.  I think.

OH YEAH.  I wanted to brag.  School was cancelled tomorrow because of the cold which gives me an un-needed but VERY welcomed day off from work.  I'm glad because it was going to be a late night of wrestling and swimming.  It's not that those things are difficult, it's just that I'd rather be lazy.

So what will I do with my time off?  I might shower.  I will probably blog about our vacation finally.  Maybe get caught up on the DVR.  It will be a fabulous day.

So for the rest of you who are reading but aren't experiencing our weather or *THINK* it is cold where you are (hi Karon!), try this one out and get back to me (and cross your fingers and pray for those without homes and for those pets with completely stupid and irresponsible owners):

Issued by The National Weather Service

Milwaukee/Sullivan, WI

9:02 pm CST, Wed., Jan. 14, 2009

... WIND CHILL WARNING REMAINS IN EFFECT UNTIL 12 PM CST FRIDAY...

AN ARCTIC HIGH WILL PUSH INTO THE DAKOTAS TONIGHT... SENDING VERY COLD AIR SOUTH INTO THE GREAT LAKES. THIS COLD AIR WILL REMAIN IN PLACE FOR THE REST OF THE WEEK. AIR TEMPERATURES EXPECTED TONIGHT THROUGH THURSDAY NIGHT ARE THE COLDEST OBSERVED OVER SOUTHERN WISCONSIN IN 13 YEARS.

LOW TEMPERATURES TONIGHT ARE EXPECTED TO DROP INTO THE LOW 20S BELOW ZERO OVER MUCH OF SOUTH CENTRAL WISCONSIN... AROUND 18 BELOW OVER SOUTHEAST WISCONSIN... AND AROUND 13 BELOW NEAR THE LAKE. BRISK NORTHWEST WINDS BETWEEN 10 AND 20 MPH WILL PRODUCE DANGEROUS WIND CHILL VALUES OF 35 TO 40 BELOW.

:::as I wickedly and selfishly cross my fingers for Friday off too:::

Good times at PDX

For those of you not in the know, we headed to the Milwaukee airport a little over 48 hours ago, San Diego bound.

Where did we end up Saturday night?  Portland, Oregon. 

Where are we now - 2 days later? Portland, Oregon.

Where is my luggage? Good question.  I'll let you know when I find out. 

As most of you who read this blog know, I was born and raised in Portland until age 16.  98% of my family lives here, including my dad.  In the span of about 36 hours in this town, I have some awesome stories.  Holiday travel nightmares and my dad's side of the family never disappoint.

For now I just thought I'd check in.  The stories are going to have to come later, either one-by-one or in a massive wall of words (complete with photographic evidence!).

Our current flight was set to take off at 10:45.  Then 12:00.  Then 12:50.  Now they tell us 1:33.  If are REALLY bored (or a deranged psycho stalker), go to Alaska Air's flight status and enter flight number 574.

In the last 2 hours I've had 2 dogs and 2 babies barf on the carpet within 5 feet of me.

Think of all the fun stuff that could be lingering on this floor.

I have the good seat on the floor next to the window.  I'm sure I'm catching the syph as we speak (write, whatever).

Anyway.

Cross your fingers that we (and my luggage) get to San Diego sometime today.  I could really use some fresh chonies.

Jessica just offered to email me some of these.  Best Christmas evah!

First full day of spring, my ass!

Yesterday it was sunny and warm (by our current standards) and most of the snow was gone except for where it was piled up from the plow. Today, we get a foot of snow.

In other randomness...

I'm rocking my NCAA basketball brackets, which is funny because I don't like basketball. Well, I didn't anyway. Now I am more than happy to have it on all day long so I can cheer for my picks. Why the sudden change? I'm taking part in fundraiser for National Athletic Training Month. The winner of the bracket pool thingamawhateveryoucallit gets the money donated to the athletic training program of their choice. Mine, of course, would go to Fresno State (much to the dismay of my fellow participants in this). I miss those bastards. As an AT, it is illegal to personally profit from any type of betting etc., but from what I understand, we can donate to any organization. I'm glad I wasn't the one in charge of figuring these rules and loopholes out.

In other news, I'm back to the beginning with wedding dress shopping. I'm not happy about it. Neither of my dresses (I have two) fit me properly. One I gained too much weight for. The other is not flattering. At all. I have no idea what I want, other than to not look like a puffy white marshmallow cow on our wedding day.

I'm really looking forward to going to Madison on Tuesday morning and spending the night at a friend's house for some quality chick-time. We're going to eat, drink, and play Wii. Maybe we'll do each other's hair and talk about boys and have a pillow fight. At some point I might even go try on a few dresses, ideally after I've had several drinks, but we'll see.

I also have this crappy prospectus to write for my crappy "non-thesis" grad school option. I use the term non-thesis loosely, because in my eyes, it's still pretty much a freaking thesis. Maybe at some point during this spring break (only from work - not school) I'll sit down and find the articles I should have looked for a week ago. Maybe.

I am an AWESOME snow driver.

I never have problems driving in the snow. If I lose control I always get it back again. You could even call me a MASTER of winter driving. Yes sir.

I know you don't believe me, but it's true.

When I am sitting behind the wheel of a HMMWV.

[That's a "Humvee" to you non-military folks]

Now that I don't have one of those badasses with my name on it to drive, I think I'd be content to not leave the house before every road in the state of Wisconsin is plowed, salted, and dry. How I have turned into the World's Biggest Snow-Driving Pansy, I'm not really sure. I think I will continue to blame the night I almost died (don't click on that, it's long). I now drive in the snow with sheer terror, white knuckles, and the stereo volume completely turned down.

My latest incident involved going over a large curb and cracking the plastic part of my undercarriage in the front of my car.

It would have helped if that asshole in the monster truck behind me wasn't flashing his brights at me for a mile. After I went over the curb but before he passed me, I made sure I got my window down to honor him with a one-finger salute. Ass.

So anyway, who can get me another HMMWV? I only need it for the rest of winter, which Jimmy the Groundhog says wont be too long. I prefer the green military version that runs on JP8 at 8 mpg. I need to cruise THE 43 (Hi Jess!) in the snow like a bat out of hell. TIA!

You win some, you lose some

:::sigh:::

Who am I kidding? That game sucked.

For those of you on the hypothetical short bus, I'm referring to the NFC championship game between the Packers and the Giants. Was it the Sports Illustrated curse? I'm going to go with no. There is no way a cover this cool could be the cause of something so bad.



So now the next time we watch the Packers play, we'll be an old married couple. Sweet.

Anyway...

The last couple days of our lives have been pretty eventful by our standards. Target had a big scratching post on sale, and my cats of have desperate for something to climb and claw on. Let me tell you - the entertainment this thing has provided for the humans of the house has made it worth every penny. Especially with the addition of catnip. [Please disregard the strange timing of the commercial containing unattractive men in a sauna. Yes, my Christmas cards are still stuck to the walls.]



Zoey's ass is clearly too big for the top level of this thing, but that definitely does not stop her from trying to squeeze in every ounce of cat that she possibly can. As soon as she falls asleep, limbs start hanging.



In other news, a tree fell on my dad's car this morning. He's fine - he was inside, but he heard it happen. Neighborhood drama has ensued. Apparently the lady who is the proud owner of the tree has previously been informed by the city that it was unsafe. I guess the roof of the car is smashed in. He only has liability insurance on it, but it is starting to sound like the neighbor lady might be buying his next car anyway. We'll see what happens.





I have a new, slightly materialistic object of my affection. It's a BlackBerry Pearl, and we're in love.



Now, when I'm bored and sitting on my ass at work finished with my grad school homework and getting fantastical grades, I can use my email, read blogs, espn, talk to people on messenger, check facebook, and all kinds of other stuff. I can even use it to connect my laptop to the internet, but I haven't gotten that far yet. I can sync it with google calendar and use it as a planner which I also love. I am still learning how to do a lot of stuff on it, but the things I can do already make me squeal with delight :)

Did I mention I got it for FREE? A guy my mom works with had an extra one. Just laying around. It's good to have a mom that works for a wireless company.

Here is a picture I took with it earlier of one of my apartment complex's snow plows not doing jack shit as usual. I hate that they have 3 of these things and don't know how to use them. I will undoubtedly be unable to get out of the parking lot to get to work tomorrow. taking a well deserved break.



I left work an hour early today - hopefully nobody noticed. If they did, my defense is that if I was going to slide into a ditch on my way home, I wanted it to be during daylight so I could see what was coming. I made it, but right now we've got about 8 inches of snow for today and it isn't supposed to let up until sometime tomorrow if I'm not mistaken.

Anyway, I'm going to go take a bath in an attempt to get sleepy while Corey watches this super depressing Life After People show on the History Channel. The graphics on this show have been cool, but not cool enough for me to watch simulations of house pets going wild or starving to death among many, many other debbie-downer earth population = ZERO things.

My first snow day

It's not my first snow day ever...but it's my first one in Wisconsin.

The school that I work for is closed, and no school = no athletic training coverage! There really couldn't have been better timing for me for this, since our final exam is available to start today at noon, which is right now. Instead of driving out in the snow and working a late night at the school, I can sit here in my sweats, watch it snow, and take my final. I'll post some pictures of it (later) that I took this morning for you west-coasters :) I also took my cat out and dropped her in the middle of it - she wasn't a fan. It's really coming down and I LOVE it as long as I don't have to drive in it again.

I hope Corey's work lets him out a little early.

My glorious government healthcare and why I feel like a total jerk today

Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful that I am able to have free medical care through the VA, or else I'd have nothing. I've had too many problems with my car accidents, strep throat, etc to be able to get away with not having it.

But seriously...

They've had my paperwork to enroll me into their system here in Milwaukee since the end of June. Why does it take 3 months...THREE...to have my first doctor visit? September 26th is a long ass way from the end of June. Also, why did Corey get his appointment a month before I did? They got our stuff the same day.

I woke up at 3 am with this crazy intense pain in deep in my right hip that was radiating to my back, butt, groin, down my leg...everywhere...with no explanation for it. Let me just say that I'm not a wuss, but this pain was so random and awful that I was ready to drive myself down to the VA urgent care in the middle of the night. I think the only thing that stopped me was the fact that I'd probably waste the gas to get down there and they'd say no because I wasn't "in their system" yet or some other shit that I didn't want to hear at 4 am. Nothing was helping and I definitely couldn't sleep so Corey suggested I call the 24 hour nurse line that I didn't know they had.

I made the call at 4:15 am. There was no answer and they tell me to leave a message with my name, last 4, and phone number. It is now 1:30 pm and my call has not been returned. It doesn't matter now anyway since the pain isn't as intense, but still. That is crappy.

Now for why I feel like a jerk:

After this whole random middle of the night ordeal, I managed to fall asleep again a little before 6 am. My alarm was set to go off at 6:30. Corey called me at 10:15 to see how I was feeling and asks if I went to work or called in. Called in? It's not even 7 yet...OHHOLYCRAP! I looked at his clock and saw the real time and realized I was supposed to be at work at the PT clinic almost an hour and a half earlier. I called and they were nice about it, but I feel like an ass. I only work from 9-12 there two days a week so going there at that point wouldn't have made any sense. It's just crappy because they are busy on Mondays and were counting on me. Ugh.

On a happier, and equally uninterestingtotherestoftheworld note, it is chilly and raining here today, which I love.