I am an AWESOME snow driver.

I never have problems driving in the snow. If I lose control I always get it back again. You could even call me a MASTER of winter driving. Yes sir.

I know you don't believe me, but it's true.

When I am sitting behind the wheel of a HMMWV.

[That's a "Humvee" to you non-military folks]

Now that I don't have one of those badasses with my name on it to drive, I think I'd be content to not leave the house before every road in the state of Wisconsin is plowed, salted, and dry. How I have turned into the World's Biggest Snow-Driving Pansy, I'm not really sure. I think I will continue to blame the night I almost died (don't click on that, it's long). I now drive in the snow with sheer terror, white knuckles, and the stereo volume completely turned down.

My latest incident involved going over a large curb and cracking the plastic part of my undercarriage in the front of my car.

It would have helped if that asshole in the monster truck behind me wasn't flashing his brights at me for a mile. After I went over the curb but before he passed me, I made sure I got my window down to honor him with a one-finger salute. Ass.

So anyway, who can get me another HMMWV? I only need it for the rest of winter, which Jimmy the Groundhog says wont be too long. I prefer the green military version that runs on JP8 at 8 mpg. I need to cruise THE 43 (Hi Jess!) in the snow like a bat out of hell. TIA!